Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Welcome back to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. I'm your host, Yusuf, and this is the show where we talk about the real things, the everyday struggles, the shape, how we feel, how we function, and how we find ourselves, way back to ourselves. Today's guest is Ronnie Robinson, a certified eating disorder recovery coach, author of the memoir Out of the Pantry: A Disordered Eating Journey, a three-time Iron Man finisher, and someone who spent 30 years as a binge eater and is now 18 years into recovery. She created Recover with Ronnie to help people move through binge eating and compulsive overeating without diets or food elimination. So they can actually come back to their lives. Today, we are going to talk about what binge eating really looks like and how diet culture plays into it and what a genuine path through recovery can feel like. Ronnie, I welcome you to the show.

Why Sharing The Story Matters

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Thank you so much for having me, Yustaf. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Perfect. So before we step into the bigger conversation, I want to ask you something a little personal. So you've chosen to speak openly about your own experience with binge eating alongside your work as a recovery coach. And that is not always an easy choice. So what made you decide that your story needed to be part of what you offer?

SPEAKER_00 1:33

I felt it was important because when I was recovering, like you said, after 30 years of binge eating, reading books and stories by other people who had also recovered from binge eating was really healing for me because I could see that I couldn't see myself in other people's stories. And, you know, things that they said were like really resonated with me. And I felt seen and I felt validated. And then I also saw that there was hope for recovery. So I wanted to do the same for anybody else out there who was struggling so that they too could, you know, learn that they're not alone. Um, binge eating disorder is a very isolating and shameful thing. You think it's just you and you think nobody understands. But when you read, you know, a book as someone who also went through the same struggle, yeah, it's it's kind of comforting and healing, and like I said, and hopeful. And I wanted to provide that to other people who are struggling. There are so many people in this world struggling with binge eating.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

I see. So, you know, there is this invisibility built right into it, and and the shame that comes with not being able to explain it, even to yourself, can become its own layer of weight to carry. And that is such an important distinction to name out loud.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yes, yes, for sure.

Diet Culture And The Restrict Cycle

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Um, you mentioned diet culture as something you wanted to speak about, and I think this is where it gets really layered because on the surface, diet culture presents itself as being about health and wellness, but you are pointing at something underneath that. So, what is the connection between diet culture and binge eating that most people do not see?

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Yeah, I am I feel that diet culture is just absolutely toxic. I think it's been drilled into us since we were young, and especially more recently, you know, in the past 20 years or so, with you know, social media, you know, really just hitting us over the head with the idea that health equals being in a small, smaller body, being thin, and that the only way that you can be important or enough or happy is if you are in a thin body, um, which is absolutely ridiculous. And it has pounded into us that certain foods are good and certain foods are bad, and that you are you are good if you eat these, or you are bad if you eat those. And like there's this moral value that's been assigned to foods. And often, you know, you know, there's a thousand and one diets out there. And obviously, if there really was a diet that worked, there wouldn't need to be, you know, more than a thousand, probably more than that, diets out there to the diet industry is just, you know, they're out there to make money. They're really not out there to help you. And any time that you are feeling deprived or you're restricted, and you might be able to go on a diet for like a week or two and be like, wow, this is great. I could totally do this. But eventually, yeah, eventually that deprivation and restriction leads to binge eating. And so many binge eaters have tried every diet under the sun to try to, you know, feel some sort of control over their eating. But there's no diet in this world that is ever going to cure an eating disorder. And it's just, you know, like I said, it's just this unending cycle, this loop of restriction and being quote unquote good, and then binge eating, because you know, anything that's forbidden fruit, you want all the more, you know, and diets and diet culture leads you to believe that you can't eat these certain foods or you're gonna, you know, gain weight and you're not gonna, you know, there and that all the stigma, unfortunately, that society puts on, you know, God forbid if you put on some weight.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Okay, you know, it baffles me. The very thing that was supposed to bring order ends up deepening the cycle and recognizing that is not the same as having a solution yet. It is just the starting point and the gap between seeing and knowing what to do with what you see is real. And I think a lot of people live in it for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Yes. Oh my goodness, decades. Absolutely decades. Yeah. It's uh it's it's a crazy cycle, and so many people have bought it. Hook, line, and sinker, right? That like I was saying, you need to be in a smaller body in order to be loved, in order to be happy, in order to, you know, have a successful life. And that is absolutely, you know, ridiculous. But we've we've all learned that, right? That it's like I said, it's just been, you know, pointed in our brains. And like I said, especially with social media, yeah, it's it's really hard to get away from that. And it's so destructive, needless to say.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Yeah, it is.

What Binge Eating Feels Like

SPEAKER_01 7:23

So let us talk about what this looks and feels like in the everyday life. Not the extreme moment, but uh, but the ordinary days. Because I think what people do not often hear described is the mental noise of it. The planning, the bargaining, the negotiations. You know, so can you walk us through what a typical day might feel like for someone in the middle of this?

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yeah. So to begin with, the the difference between having an eating disorder and just maybe loving to eat food is that the the binge eating disorder is actually a mental health issue. And it's not about willpower or self-control or having no discipline. It's it's really embedded in mental health. And when you are a binge eater, is obsessed with food and eating, it's the center of their world. It's how all day long is, you know, they're eating breakfast and they're planning what they're gonna have for lunch. You're eating lunch, you're planning your afternoon snack. Um, your whole world just revolves around food. Where you're gonna get it, when you're gonna get it, how can you eat it with nobody seeing you eating it and obsessing over obsessing over it? And and generally also just to explain what I think some people sort of use the word, oh, I was binge eating. Um, so binge eating actually is eating large quantities of food in a short period of time. It's eating very quickly, it's feeling like you are just out of control. You've eaten way beyond any sense of fullness. You feel absolutely disgusted with yourself afterwards, you know, saying, What's wrong with me? Why can't I why can't I stop eating? Why can everybody else do this with me? I'm broken, you know, and then promising yourself, I'm gonna do better tomorrow, which inevitably does not happen. And it's often, you know, it repeats and it can be day after day after day, it can be week after week. It's it's just this horrible way of living where you are not present with people and other things in your life because you are constantly thinking about food. I mean, I used to go to events and things with friends, and I would be having a conversation with somebody, and half of my brain was thinking about the food table. And when am I going to get back over there? And how can I excuse myself from this conversation to go get food? And it's just a really negative, you know, like loop to be in. And you really feel, you know, underneath it all is, you know, I'm unlovable and I'm not worthy and I'm undeserving. And yeah, it's definitely not about the food, it's just so much deeper than that.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

Yeah. You know, what you were describing is a coping mechanism that developed for real reasons to manage something emotionally that had no other outlet. And understanding does not excuse anything or explain everything, but it does change how we relate to ourselves in those moments. And I think that's the foundation we can start to build upon and actually improve ourselves.

Root Causes Beneath The Food

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Absolutely. And it's also been my experience that you you you need to, as you said, you need to get to the root of the problem. It it typically any eating disorder or any substance abuse, you know, whether it's drugs or alcohol, you know, shopping, gambling, whatever the case may be, is usually rooted in childhood, whether it's a trauma of, you know, a large nature or just repeated negative behaviors from, you know, your home, could be both parents, could be one parent, could be, you know, your parents fighting all the time. It could be not getting enough emotional support and connection. I mean, there's so many things that are like micro traumas that affect as a child how you internal, you know, how you feel about yourself. And you you can't even, you don't have the bandwidth at that age to process that. So there's these internal messages that you get that, like I was saying, you're not good enough and I'm not worthy and I'm not lovable. And those childhood beliefs become your adult limiting beliefs. And until you get the help of a, you know, a coach like myself or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, it's really hard to wrap your arms around the whole thing. Um, you know, most people think, you know, oh, I had a, you know, a normal, decent childhood. Well, what your normal was is, you know, may have actually been dysfunctional and had you turning to food, as you said, for coping and for love, yeah, you know, and support. And yeah, it's uh it's really tough to break that cycle and heal from that cycle on your own. Um, it really, I would say 99% of the time requires um, you know, some professional help.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Yes.

What Recovery Shifts Inside

SPEAKER_01 13:22

I want you to ask about recovery now. And I want to be honest that I know recovery from this kind of thing is not a straight line. And it does not look the same for everyone. But based on your journey and your coaching others, what does moving toward recovery actually involve? Not the clinical steps, but the inner experience of it, like what starts to shift and how.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

Yeah, it's that's a great question. What starts to shift is what to as to what I was saying before, when you learn what the root of the problem is, and can kind of wrap your arms around it. And you know, the one of the biggest lessons of all in that is learning that the way that you were treated, whatever negative behaviors occurred to you or traumas were not your fault. Because as a child, you feel like, okay, mom and dad are fighting, or they're saying nasty things to me, or somebody's already always commenting on my weight, or you know, any of these things that happened when you were little, you feel like you caused it and that it's your fault. And helping to learn that it wasn't, and being seen and being validated for what you went through is really very healing. And it has you turning less to the food to cope because your understanding you turned to food to cope to begin with, right? When you were a child and you had no control over anything in your life because your parents decided everything, but you could control and sneak food, right? To help soothe yourself. You slowly realize that I don't need, I don't, that's not going on in my life anymore. I'm not a child. And I have other tools that I can use to cope, which you know, me or a professional would help with. And also learning to separate emotions from food and dismantling diet culture, all these things sort of work together, and you start to think about food less. And you also we work on self-care. So, you know, finding passions and hobbies and things that you were that weren't in your life before because you didn't think you deserved me time, or you know, things that just make you happy, and to incorporate those things and just becoming more present in your life grows and the the obsession and thoughts of food just lowers and lowers as you increase, you know, other things in your life and understand that you no longer that food doesn't really help you cope with anything, right? It just really creates another problem.

How To Get Support

SPEAKER_01 16:34

So, Ronnie, for people who want to connect with you or want to learn more about your work, where can they do that?

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah, my website is just my first and last name, Ronnie Robinson.com. Also pretty out there on Instagram. Um at recoverwith Ronnie. Yeah, or even if uh you just wanted to shoot me an email and say, hey, I'm struggling. Can you just listen? My email is R R my Initials, RRrecoverycoach at gmail.com. And yeah, I'm happy to listen. I know from firsthand how really difficult all of this is. And yeah, I'm here for you.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Perfect. And to everyone listening, all these links will be in the will be in the show notes. So just go and check those out. Roni, is there any last method that you want to leave us with?

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Yeah, I guess I would just want to say that even if you've been binge eating for decades, that can change and you can recover. And just because the eating disorder is what you've always done doesn't mean that that's what you're gonna do in the future. That change is really possible. You know, commit to yourself that you want to do it, show up for you know your sessions, and you can put this life, this lifestyle behind you and go on to a much happier world.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Yeah. Thank you so much for the honesty, for the courage it takes to speak from lived experience and for the way you hold this topic with so much care.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Oh, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

It was our pleasure. And to everyone listening, your relationship with yourself matters. Your body is not the problem. And if today opened even a small window of recognition or relief, I hope you let it breathe. Share this episode with someone who might need it. We'll be back each week with conversations like this one. Until then, please take good care of yourself.