Why Space Changes Everything

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Have you ever noticed that the biggest changes in your life really ki come when you try the hardest? And sometimes that transformation doesn't arrive through force or through planning. It arrives when something clears up and softens. When there's a little more room to work with, a little willingness to let what needs to shift actually move. And today we are exploring what it means to create that space and why it might be the most important thing that you do for your mental health and emotional health. Today I'm joined by Beth Wilson, an international best-selling author, speaker, and someone whose work is centered on one of the most quietly powerful ideas in personal growth, and that real transformation begins not with more effort, but with more space to yourself. So, Beth, I think that intro, you know, speaks a lot about how we need to approach this space. So it's it's really wonderful to have you here. And, you know, I'm really hoping to dig deeper into this.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Well, thank you, Cyan. It's really great to be here. And we were talking about this in the context of my life, because I just wrote a book called Escaping Crazy Town. And I was, we made it a spiritual adventure instead of just a spiritual journey. Because what you're talking about is, you know, often we look at things as they need to be big or they need to be bold or they need to be a lightning bolt transformation. And the truth is that there are a lot of spaces in between the drama and the trauma. And it is essential to take that time and process and allow yourself to connect with other things, usually bigger than you, whether it's nature, whether it's higher power spirit, and process those types of things to understand the profound meaning and messages that they have for your life so you can integrate them. Because that certainly was what kept me going and what kept me not only alive, but thriving in a very difficult and traumatic situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Yeah, I think that's really an honest place to start this off bet. And, you know, before we really get into that heart of today's conversation, I would love to start with something more personal with your journey.

A Quick Listener Disclaimer

SPEAKER_01 2:40

But just before that, a little disclaimer to all the listeners. Some statements reflect personal belief and experiences, and I presented as individual views and not medical advice. Listeners should consult qualified professionals for medical conditions. So, Beck, you know, the language that you use and the space for shifts and transformation, expansion, you know, it really sounds like it comes from somewhere lived rather than just learned. So I want to understand: was there a specific moment or a series of such instances where you experienced, you know, what it really means to create space and have something genuinely change as a result?

Laguna Beach And The Hug

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Yes, absolutely. For me, I there were times where I had to get into my feelings. Um, I have a great story in the book about being in Laguna Beach and taking a vacation because there was so much. I had a chronic illness, I was dealing with so much trauma and drama in my life. And and while I was a single mother raising wonderful, wonderful son, and I I loved lots about my life, but I needed to step back. And when I step back and I moved into my feelings, Sam, that was a huge part of it. It's not pleasant to feel sometimes how miserable you are, or it's not pleasant to sometimes. Absolutely it is, and to even feel some self-loathing and going, yep, this is where it is. Period paragraph, this is where it is. And when I did that in Laguna Beach, a miracle literally happened to me. A man, a gorgeous six foot three man, literally rose out of the ocean and pointed at me. And there was nobody else on the beach except way down, maybe three people. Yeah. And this is Laguna Beach. The beach is always full, right? So there was this space created. This man rose out, he pointed. I looked behind me thinking, who in the world is he pointing to? And he said, No, you, you need a hug. And he came and he gave me a hug. And then a friend of his came up and gave me a hug. And I thanked them both profusely. And I walked a few steps, turned around to thank them again, and they were gone. So at that point, I said to the divine, I said, Well done. Well done. If you're going to send me guardian angel, that was a perfect form because it brought a big smile to my face. And it reminded me that sometimes, you know, in the depths of degradation, if you can move into your feelings, if you can accept life on life's terms, which is a very challenging thing to do, miracles, humorous, if you want to call them guardian angels, interesting events, right? And experiences can happen to uplift and switch you. That just knocked me out of my self-pity, which was great. That's what I needed.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Wow. I mean, that's really miraculous, right? Uh I mean, I I don't know how to explain it, but yeah, it it does sound special. I mean, I totally understand w what you're trying to say, Beth. And I think, you know, those are the kind of moments when you when you thank, you know, the creator, that divine power, for its existence, and you know, those are the moments when you finally understand that, you know, they have always caught your back. So I think those are the moments that really I would say satisfy the soul to some extent.

Why We Resist The Unknown

SPEAKER_01 6:18

But you know, when you really talk about creating that space for yourself, what do you think, you know, fills that space in most people that makes transformation difficult? Because I think even for a lot of us, uh even when we want to change, there's something underneath all of that, you know, that resists it kind of. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

What no, that's a really good point. Yeah, no, that's a really good point, saying, because I think a lot of us not only are we the world is full of distractions, just for starters, but also, you know, in a lot of the wisdom that I like is when we get scared, because we often get scared of the unknown. So if we if we think to ourselves, oh, I'm gonna give up something, even if it's something negative, to move towards something positive and create that space for something new to happen for us, that can be frightening because we it's it moves us into the unknown. But what I often have to say to myself is, what is the next right step? You don't even have to know. Even Martin Luther King said, just take the first step and the staircase will appear. So sometimes it's just trusting that next right step in in moving and accepting that that you want some change, that you want some nourishment in your life. Yeah. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 7:40

That does. I think, you know, I think that question of whether resistance is an obstacle that you need to clear. So most would view it like that or a messenger. That is something I think a lot of people really haven't sat with before. And I think that's really an important reframe, Beth. And depending on the answer, you know, the whole approach would change, I think. And that that feels really an important place to perhaps start over the whole conversation. So let's bring this more into a real perspective, let's say.

Micro Moments For Busy Days

SPEAKER_01 8:14

So for someone who is genuinely busy, has a lot going on in his or her life, you know, that's pulling them apart in every direction. What does creating space that we're talking about for them actually look like on you know a weekday afternoon? You know, what are the small real ways that this shows up without without this looking like it might be just another task on their calendar? So what would you like to see?

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Yeah, no, very good point there, because sometimes we just get too busy and we're pulled in so many directions that the thought of you know taking time for a yoga class or a few minutes for yoga or deep breathing or meditation seems like that's insane. A lot. Right? There's no way. But what I used to do, because I've been as busy as anyone, is I used to work for the U.S. Congress. And I, in doing that, I had to negotiate with the Armed Services, with the Department of Defense, and everything, my whole day was eaten up alive from the minute I got up to the minute I went to bed. And what I used to do is I would take time to go into the bathroom and look at my own eyes in the mirror and remember that I'm in here. Despite all of this rushing and busyness, I'm in here. And I could make contact with what I would call my spirit or soul by looking, you know, the eyes are the window to the soul. But for me, looking in the mirror would do it. Often I would just take walks around the marble floor. You'll hear my high heels hitting the marble floor as I would walk around the halls of Congress. And that was almost like a drumbeat to take me into a different space for a little while, or to go outside. Nature is often the easiest place to just touch base with yourself or kick your shoes off for just a moment and stand there and let Mother Earth talk with you. I mean, I know that sounds very new agey for some people, but the earth, if you want to get scientific, you know, the earth has the electromagnetic frequencies that our body needs, and so on and so forth. There's that's a real thing. Yeah. So those would be some of the just basic daily things that I that I would say for people to who are really feeling, you know, a bit pulled apart.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yep. And I think there's really a lot to unpack there, perhaps. And, you know, walking barefoot also has immense, I would say, benefits because, you know, uh ultimately, I mean, it it really goes deeper into that scientific realm. And uh not sure if that is, I mean, the central theme of today's topic, uh, so to say. But Beth, you know, honestly saying, I think when you walk barefoot, to be more specific, you know, you become one with the earth. You know, uh, you could you could feel, I mean, you could naturally vibrate in that frequency, right? And I think that is fundamental to our existence because we are a species that was, you know, that has evolved here and on this planet. So I think uh that is something that really helps reset our mind. So, you know, if if we have to zoom out a little bit, I think, yeah, spending more time with nature in itself is something that might sound too silly, but it actually it it can or it does wonders, you know. And it's so important that you mentioned as well that we need to find those micro moments between work, between, you know, to concentrate things or whatever that is, you might be looking out of a window and you know, just to have your mind blank for a second or two, you know, that that is something that I think that that really comes from a lot of practice.

Start Where You Are Today

SPEAKER_01 12:03

But now I'm I'm curious to ask you this as we wrap this off. So for someone who is listening to this today and you know, who has been waiting for the right time all way long, right? Uh the right circumstances, whether the right version of themselves to start this work, someone who keeps putting off their own uh transformation until things settle down. So how would you want them to approach this, you know, starting from point zero?

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Well, Buddha said, start where you are, begin where you are. And that is such a profound statement because if we wait until everything external to us settles down, or the children don't need three meals a day, or our husband doesn't need whatever, or wife doesn't need whatever, uh, or a job doesn't demand of us, then we will go empty to the grave. And it's it's a very linear mind that thinks that it has to be either or. It really doesn't. That is part of the whole. Our lives are this huge, huge microcosm of the universe, if you will. And we have to make some choices about what comes in and out of that universe, what to say yes or no to, what to weigh or measure. And I think for me too, a lot, and I will mention the 12 steps here. I love some of my 12-step groups because they really talk about tools that help us to focus our attention, to meditate, even if it's just five minutes in the morning before we get up. I used to do things with my children where I would make sure that we were, when we were reading a book, that I wouldn't see it as a task, but instead I would see it as, oh, I get 15 minutes to focus on a story that's outside of myself. So I think the more a person can utilize, start with where they are and realize that this is the stuff of life. And if you don't put yourself in the equation, sometimes no one else will. So it's up to you to find where you can put yourself in the equation and also to reevaluate what in your life, like with my kids, I taught them to go to for walks. That's what our family does, is we go for walks. We're out with nature. I taught them, you know, we're gonna read books to settle down. I taught them we're gonna jump on the trampoline until we get all our sillies out and everybody falls asleep looking at the stars at night. And I'll carry everybody in. I don't care. You know, I did creative things in a family life, especially as a single mother, that really enriched all of our lives. But what I noticed was I took things that really nourish and fill me up, San, and I helped to make those activities that our entire family participated in. And so I got the goods as well as my children when we were all lying on the trampoline looking up at the stars, right? I also got some downtime and time with nature to just relax and decompress.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Yeah, beautiful. I think that's that should be the whole point of coming back to ourselves in the most natural way that we could. And that what I'm really taking away from this whole conversation is that transformation, I think it it does not really ask you to be ready to, you know, wait for that right moment when things will come to you. I think it asks you to be like the statement by Buddha that you said, right? It just asks you to be willing to start where you want or where you are right now, right? So I think that is what ultimately, if I had to compress it in one line, I would want all the listeners perhaps to sit with that thought and maybe ponder what has been perhaps the most grounded part of this whole conversation, Beth.

Where To Find Beth

SPEAKER_01 16:23

But I'm I'm sure for so many listeners who actually wants to go deeper into your work and has resonated with this conversation, find your books as well. Or simply stay connected, I mean, to what you're putting out in the world. Where can they find you at?

SPEAKER_00 16:36

They can find me at Beth Wilson LifeCoach.com and biomagnetism healingarts.com. So I'll put yes. Everything's listed there, saying. And thank you so much because I I want to just say one last thing if I can.

Willingness As The Turning Point

SPEAKER_00 16:57

You brought up willingness in the 12 steps, as well as a lot of spiritual practices. Willingness is the threshold to spiritual change. If you're not willing or even willing to be willing, you're fighting the energies and powers and forces in your life that are trying to move you towards something better. And so I love that you brought up willingness because for some people that is that is the linchpin. So thank you. I just wanted to to kind of put that in the mix with what you had said.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Yeah, I think I I couldn't agree more because and I love what you said, you know, that it it is the threshold. I mean, looking at it from the spiritual perspective as well. And I think, yeah, that is what really separates the doers from the non-doers, right? Because you gotta realize that time waits for none. And it's we have all heard that. I mean, you know, since our childhood, our parents used to tell us that, but it's only a profound realization that comes to you different phases for everybody. But once that hits you, really, uh you you start to understand that, you know, you you've got to be curious and you've got to be willing to start from where you are right now.

SPEAKER_00 18:14

So I think that's that's really well and if you're not willing, yeah. If you're not willing, the universe has ways of of you can you can be willing and go with it, or the universe has interesting ways of knocking you around until perhaps you are willing. So good choices to be made there, yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah, I think you know, hypothetically someone could stay ignorant the whole life, right? And in the True enough, true enough. Yeah, yeah, they they really don't lose anything, I would say. So that that's really an interesting point, but but yeah, I think you know it's the same analogy as you know, when there's a big wave, you gotta flow with it and not the opposite. So I think that's fundamental. And uh similarly, like if you try to, you know, swim across to that uh other direction, you end up dead, but you still you may not end up regretting because you're dead already. So that's that was hypothet initially. But but yeah, I think that that is what this conversation really comes down to, Beth. So I I want to thank you so much for putting this this kind of clarity and honesty into the mix.

Closing Thoughts And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 19:28

So, folks, for anyone who's listening to this, I would be putting the details in the show notes so that you could easily reach out to Beth. And with that, uh, we unfortunately hit today's minute mark on this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. So I I want to thank all of you who showed up today for this episode because that means that something in this conversation really, maybe even a small one, created some opening in you. So just trust that because I think you don't really have to know what to do with it yet. Just sit with it, introspect, take your time, relax, and come back for more should you want. So, this has been Cyan on Healthy Bye and Healthy Life, and we'll see you in the next one.