Welcome And Why Reinvention Matters

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Welcome to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, where we have honest human conversations about healing, growth, and what it truly means to take care of our inner world. I'm your host, Yosuf, and today I'm joined by Jennifer White, who brings a deeply personal and powerful perspective on what it means to rebuild yourself after trauma. We are talking about reinvention, not the kind we see on social media, but the quiet, often invisible kind that happens within. If you have ever felt like forced you to become someone new, this conversation is for you. With that, I welcome my guest Jenny to the show.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Hi, thanks so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Perfect.

Brain Surgery And A Forced New Normal

SPEAKER_01 0:58

So, Jenny, before we go deeper, when you hear the phrase reinventing yourself after trauma, what does that actually mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Well, for me personally, it meant changing the direction of my life completely. I had brain surgery back in January of 2024 when I discovered that I had a brain tumor. And the only way to deal with it was to have surgery. And when I had my surgery, it resulted in basically a new normal for me. And that meant I had few memories of my past, that my personality changed somewhat, that I had to reinvent my marriage because I didn't recognize my husband. And he didn't really recognize me in the sense that I had changed. And my whole desire for what I enjoyed doing was gone. And I had to find a way forward.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

It is very interesting because for so many people, reinvention is not a choice, it is something life asks of you when the old version can't carry the weight anymore.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Well, and that's true for me, in that when they were doing my surgery, some things happened. And I was in a coma for a couple of days. And when I woke up, I had to relearn how to walk and talk and and and basically relearn basic things. So the reinvention was forced because of the brain surgery. But I think in a way it it propelled me to find myself and find a new path forward.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yes. I think a lot of people imagine healing as getting back to who you were before. But in in your experience, is going back even possible or is or or is that a myth we hold on to?

Accepting There Is No Going Back

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Well, in my case, there is no going back. I have to go forward. And you know, I had to find purpose again. Now I was a nurse for over 30 years. I was retired from nursing and enjoying retirement. And then this kind of came and happened. And when I was recovering physically, I had to come to terms with the fact that the life I had known before was gone. And that I was going to have to find purpose going forward. And that's when a transformation really took place.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

So what shifted for you when you stopped trying to return and started allowing something to emerge?

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Well, I realized there there wasn't a way back. And I really didn't remember too much of what had happened in the past. So I could never go back to being a nurse. But what I could do is as memories come back, I could apply those thoughts to going forward.

Writing As Therapy And Memory Trigger

SPEAKER_00 4:40

So one of the things that sort of came across my radar was one of my therapists, my speech therapist, I believe it was, when he was teaching me how to speak again, he said to me, he said, Since you're having trouble speaking, why don't you try writing your thoughts down? And by doing that, I was able to express my frustration and my challenges, but it also gave me a creative way to go forward. And so that's when I began a writing journey.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

I see.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

And when someone goes through trauma, it is not just the event. I think it is what it does to the identity, to safety, even self-trust. So what do you feel trauma changes at the deepest level within a person?

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Well, that's a good question. I think everybody has to answer that for themselves. I know for me, I even though I was a little scared and I was certainly intimidated by having to figure out what to do next. It brought me closer spiritually, I think. And, you know, when I kind of asked, okay, what's in store now? Basically, the the answers I kept hearing in my mind was that this is an opportunity to start over. It's like you have a clean slate. You don't need to worry about anything that's happened in the past, just create a new a new version of yourself. And writing has allowed me to do that.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

And maybe that is the hardest part because when self-trust breaks, even small decisions start to feel overwhelming. So, how did you begin writing? How did you begin rebuilding that inner safety again?

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Well, when I was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling and thinking, okay, I have a problem. I need to do something about this. The first thing that came to mind was, well, get on the computer and start looking around. And when the thought of writing things down came to me, I thought, okay, well, I don't know how to write fiction, so I better learn. So I started looking for self-paced online courses that I could take that would allow me to do some learning when I was well and rest when I needed to rest. And as I went through that year-long course, I got some skills to enable me to do that. And when I was doing it, I was encouraged to really focus on what I knew. And what I knew was nursing and the medical world. And so I've always been drawn to medical thrillers as a type of genre that I like to read. So I thought, well, I've got background. If it will come back to me, then I could try writing a medical thriller. And that's what I did. And the writing really helped trigger memories. And as the memory started coming back, I was able to piece together both my experience as a nurse, as a patient, as you know, somebody who'd been traumatized into a new me. And that's kind of how things evolved.

Dreaming Small Steps Into A New Identity

SPEAKER_02 8:20

But uh Jenny, reinvention sounds big.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

And it might be a very daunting thing for people to even think of. But in reality, it probably begins with very small steps. So where does someone even start when they feel like they have to rebuild themselves?

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Well, the first thing that I did was I started to dream. I kind of went back to being like a four-year-old. And I kind of thought to myself, you know how kids dream and they they play act and they decide, okay, this is what I want to be when I grow up, and they use their imagination and they they start to create stories in their mind. Well, I felt like I had the mind of a four-year-old again. And so I allowed myself and gave myself permission to just dream. And by doing that, I kept saying to myself, well, what would I love? If I could do anything, what would I love? And I decided that I would love to be a best-selling author. And so from that revelation, I basically started finding ways to support that dream.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

I see. And there's something powerful about starting small because it makes healing human, feel human, not overwhelming. So was there a point or maybe even a simple practice that helped you feel and going back to myself little by little?

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Well, like I said, I think the writing helps spark some memories and spark some joys that I had had in the past. And, you know, doing small steps, you're right, is is the most effective thing to do. And the other thing that we need to consider is that, you know, society has pretty harsh boundaries for us. They they tell us what we think is appropriate or responsible or logical. And I'm at that point in my life, I'm in my 60s now, and I'm starting over. And so for me, I don't really care what people think anymore. I've been a success I know in the past because I was a nurse for over 30 years. So I clearly did my job well at the time. But like I said, I can't go back to that. But how can I apply what I've known going forward? And so that is what you kind of have to do. You have to kind of step back and say, okay, if there were no rules, if there were no judgments, if we didn't care what people thinked, what would bring us joy? And that's kind of the journey that I went on.

Self Trust, Gratitude, And Ignoring Judgement

SPEAKER_01 11:21

So if someone is listening right now and quietly thinking, I don't recognize who I have become after what I have been through. So what would you want them to gently remind themselves tonight?

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Well, first of all, remind yourself that you are important and your life matters. Secondly, you are the captain of your own ship. So you get to make the choices, you get to make the the demands on yourself to do what you want to do. And I think we we take far too much strength in listening to what other people tell us we should do. And sometimes when you've been traumatized, you're you're you're kind of in survival mode for a while. And once you kind of get out of survival mode, you can start to think in a positive way and think that, you know, not everybody woke up today. And I should be grateful for that. And with that gratitude, I know that I can make a difference. Find something that speaks to you, that makes your heart kind of sing, that says, Hey, let's try this. This might be okay. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. You just go on to the next chapter and try again.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

You don't have to become who you were. I think healing begins when you allow yourself to become who you are now with honesty and compassion.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Absolutely, I totally agree.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Yeah.

How To Connect And Final Hope

SPEAKER_01 13:05

So, Jenny, for people who feel connected to your journey and want to reach out or just want to connect with you, where can you do that?

SPEAKER_00 13:14

I'm on Facebook at uh authorjenny white, and I also have a website for my books, and that's www.gennywhite.ca. I'm Canadian, so it's a Canadian website, and they can they can reach out to me there if they'd like.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Perfect. And to everyone listening, all these links are in the show notes, so just go and check those out.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Jenny. Jenny, is there any last message that you want to leave us with?

SPEAKER_00 13:51

I just want people to know that there's always hope. That you don't have to be confined by what society tells you you have to do. For example, you know, I'm I'm in my 60s and I'm retired. And, you know, people have an idea of what retired people should do and how much they can give back. And my message is that the sky's the limit, you're in control, you get to make the choices.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

Thank you so much, um Jennifer, for for being here and for sharing something so real and human.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

You're very welcome and thanks for having me on.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Of course, it is. It was our pleasure. And to everyone listening. If you feel like you have changed after what you have been through, you're not alone. Sometimes life doesn't ask you to go back, it asks you to grow into someone new. Gently, slowly, and in your own time. Take care of your mind, take care of your life, and I'll see you in the next episode.