SPEAKER_00 0:04

Somewhere along the way, we decided that exhaustion was a badge of honor, right? That being busy is cool. It meant being worthy. That the more you sacrifice, the more you deserve what you were chasing. But what if that whole narrative was a hoax? Welcome back to another episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. I'm your host, Cyan, and this is the show where we talk about what it generally means to take care of yourself, not just physically, but in every dimension of who you are. Today I'm joined by Lynette Sorrentino, a transformational keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and advocate for the holistic success of working women, whose signature message challenges that hustle culture head on and offer something far more sustainable in its place. So I invite you all to join me on this conversation where we will be talking about how to move on from that grind mood to living more with alignment. So, Leonard, it's a pleasure to have you here with me today. And really, I think this is an important topic for all the leaders and those who are working in the non-leadership as well, because this is something that no matter which industry or no matter what work you do, you know, there's always a face that comes to you and you know you you you sort of get drowned in that hustle culture and you know sort of start ignoring other small and little things that maybe meant a lot to you earlier, but right now you you're just way too you know narrow-minded and shallow. So it's a it's uh I think important topic and uh welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

I'm so excited to be here. I love what you're doing. I love your mission with this podcast. And I hope something can, you know, even if it's just one little nugget that could help one person, then it is worth it because I think you are a hundred thousand percent spot on with what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Thanks, uh Lynette. So yeah, that is our mission. Uh like you said. So, folks, for all the listeners who are listening to this right now, a little disclaimer that some treatments reflect personal belief and experiences and also are presented as individual views and not medical advice. So please, folks, consult qualified professionals for any kind of medical condition. So, Lennet, before any uh delay, before we get into how you pulled out multiple times from this burned-out phase, we're gonna talk about that later. I want to start with your journey because you have spokenly, you have candidly spoken about overcoming self-doubt and moments of low esteem and limiting belief. So, was there a specific moment or a series rather of those instances that you know changed and made you realize that the way that you had been working and pushing and proving yourself was actually costing you something more significant and important?

SPEAKER_01 2:54

I think there was that pivotal moment. I think we always have sometimes have times in our life that that becomes that that line in the sand that we either intentionally find or it finds us. I always was an achiever. I uh quickly figured out at a very young age that if there's something that I want, I figured out I could go work hard, make the money, and get it. I didn't grow up with a lot of money. I had a hardworking mom, great grandparents, et cetera, but didn't have a lot. So that work ethic was just always ingrained in me. And I had gone from jobs to being self-employed. I was an entrepreneur with a direct sales company for a lot of years, and I had all of the success on the outside. I had the the beautiful cars, I had the house, I had the husband, I had the kids, I had everything that looked wonderful on the outside. And then on Labor Day weekend on 2007, I found myself, I got a phone call that I never would have expected while I'm looking at fish, you know, at the at the pet store with my son. And it was a phone call from my brother-in-law that said, Your dad's very sick, he's in the hospital. You might want to get here. Now, I was living in Washington state, and they were halfway across the country in my home state of Nebraska. So it wasn't like I could just get in the car and drive a couple of hours. And I just knew in my intuition that I needed to get home. And I got there on Sunday, and he had liver cancer. They were going to do the tests on it on Tuesday, but of course it was a holiday, so by Monday night he was gone. That life-changing moment came at the time I was at his funeral, and I saw all of these women who were in the same company I was in, but they were in a different part of the country. So I didn't have that community on a regular basis like I had had in the past. And friendships that I had just let go, because when you're halfway across the country from people, you just lose the connections, right? And I realized when all those people showed up for my dad's funeral, I realized everything I had given up for this person in my life who was living his why. But I had lost myself. I had lost my passion, I'd given up all the things that were important to me. I was living his why and living in a very emotionally financially controlling environment. And I'd lost me. I'd lost my joy. I'd lost my voice. I was second guessing myself all of the time. I was just a shadow of who I was before and who I am now. And I just knew that something and it was also a milestone birthday that year. And I just knew something had changed. And literally, we came home for Christmas that year to see my mom. So she wasn't by herself, and God said move home. And so I made some very unpopular decisions as I followed what I was being told and realized I needed to get out of that scenario. It was to a point where it got so contentious that I was in major fight or flight mode and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. So fast forward, I figured out a way to move back to Nebraska, to move to a city I didn't know anyone, but it was a place I could go and grow my built business again. And I built it back up to a degree, but realized I was kind of burnt out from that, got into another industry, did very well with that, killed it, just like I always kind of kill it. I'm successful when I'm doing all of it. But throughout all of those times, that first time when I hit the wall when I found out about that with my dad, but also a couple other times between, I found myself just going through the motions because I was hustling so hard, working so hard to just be in survival, to just support myself. I wasn't doing anything to take care of me. I was caring for everyone else but me. And I was feeling like if I said yes to me and was doing that, then I was being selfish. And that's the thing I think women do a lot. I think men do it in different ways, but it's the same thing. We're so busy giving and doing things to others. We're we're totally ignoring what we're told on the airplane. You know, give yourself the opposite mask first, right? And I wasn't doing that. But I knew that after the third time of bringing myself out and crashing and burning and having no desire to pick up the phone, no desire to go to work, you know, going through the go through divorce everything, I was really, really depressed. I just you just you just lose that passionate person inside of you. And that's when I knew I had to start doing some things differently. I think what drives people to do that, however, which is what drove me is it is what's proven to be successful, and even though we know something needs to change, we're fearful of what we might have to do. So the fear keeps us in golden handcuffs, it keeps us trapped instead of pursuing maybe what the other options would be because we either don't know what it is, or if we are, we're not certain if it's gonna work or we're scared, so we just stay here we are, even though the price is very

(Cont.) Escaping Hustle Culture Through Values And Boundaries, with Lynette Sorrentino

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Yeah, and you know I have been hosting shows for a while now, and there's one thing in common about these kind of narratives is that once you hit that rock bottom, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:26

It's it's so important that you understand that there's even more room to fall, you know, like it's not really the rock bottom, like things could even go worse, but then it is it is realizing that you know whatever you have right now is enough, and there is a high time that you need to make a change for something better. And you know, that retaliation, that resistance to you know follow that culture. And when I say that culture, I I am really, you know, framing it as the rat race that we often get ourselves in, no matter the industry, no matter the kind of job that we do, or our relationships and we we want to make everyone happy around us, right? It it really comes down and boils down to this is how we treat ourselves in the moment that you know our body wants us to treat it the way it should be. And I think that is something that we often frame it as self-love, but I I I think that does not do justice to this whole concept of realizing that you are alone in this journey and that you need to take care of yourself. So, with with your story, I would say, what is that one misconception that you think people really carry about a lot behind why so many people, especially women and entrepreneurs, keep returning to that same grind even when they know that it is not working for them. So what would you really like to say, Leonard?

SPEAKER_01 10:09

There's a couple things that come to mind. One is I think there's this inherent thing that we feel guilty by putting ourselves first. And in reality, if we don't put ourselves first, we will crash and burn to an even deeper level. And we underestimate what it does to our physical and our mental health, how it fries our nervous system. And the example, or should I say, lack of example that we're showing to our kids because we're not present with them. We're not present to the people that are important in our lives because we are so frazzled and burned off. So we're not being wildly, we're not being present, we're sacrificing our health, both physically and mentally, we're our nervous system is getting fried. And really it just it accelerates our our our our lives, you know, the our what our ultimate span or or decreases our lifespan. It accelerates how long we're gonna be be on this earth and and shortens it down. Be and and I think it all goes back to we're feeling guilty. We somehow we we've just been taught that we're supposed to be just this sacrificial lamb and carry all these burdens on our back. And if we put ourselves first to it, that's a bad thing. And I don't know where that got started, but we need to change it because one we're we are suffering, but we don't realize that we're creating a generational thing. That's how we got it. That's how we women got here. It's Virginia. And we stop the generational thing unless we change it and show a different example to our daughters.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Yeah, and and I think the most you know important thing of why we even got here is because we sort of normalize that you know it's the normal, right? This hustle culture is normal and that we've got to carry so many responsibilities. But it's really, I would say, now that we are in 2036, and you know, I I would say this, I mean, this age right now is about getting awakened spiritually to the level that you understand, you realize what's really happening around you. And I think uh that really also ties to this information boom that we have seen in the last decade, you know, with information, so much information being available at our fingertips. I think that has uh also been pivotal to how so many of us have become spiritually awakened in the last decade. But you know, talking about personal growth, Lennet, and that preceding business growth as well, and I think that's a sequence that most people would like to reverse. They build the business, they you know, want to capitalize on that hustle culture and then hope the person inside of it catches up. So what tends to be that pattern and uh you know deeper beliefs or wounds that make it so hard for high-achieving people to invest in themselves before they invest in their results? So, what would you really like to say?

SPEAKER_01 13:07

You know, I don't know. It it honestly kind of boggles my mind why people don't encust in themselves. I think some of it might be a trap that they're so busy in the hustle and grind they can't see any what they're the way the player to even find the bandwidth to do it. So I think there's a big portion of that. I think the other part of it is that they just don't see the reason why. And and here's where I'll reframe that is that in a what I would call traditional business corporate culture, there's you know, they they do their seminars and workshops, but I'm gonna be real blunt here. I think some of it's fluff. I think there's just it just hits the scale press.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

They're doing it as an obligatory thing. It doesn't go deep enough and they don't invest deep enough to facilitate that for their employees. And employees are just clocking in, clocking out, doing the KPIs, doing all the roles, doing the job and all of this stuff. There's not a reason to develop yourself personally. But then for whatever reason, you become a business owner and an entrepreneur. Maybe because you got laid off and so you had to pivot. Maybe you finally said, okay, I'm up to here with the corporate world. I'm going to start my own business. There's so much that is involved in growing and building your own business, other than just, well, I know how to do social media, so I'll start a digital marketing company. There's a whole lot of things that go around them. You know, it's there's the accounting, there's the systems, there's the on the mindset of an entrepreneur, it's managing your time, it's sales. I mean, there's a whole list of eight to 10, 15 things you need to learn. Then all of a sudden they're going, oh my gosh, I'm drinking through the fire hose. And they're trying to figure it out. And there's systems and there's that, that's where that personal development comes. But roll it back in a lot of it has to do with their mental mindset, which is personal development. Are they seeing themselves as an entrepreneur? Are they seeing themselves worthy? Do they believe in themselves? Are they afraid to put themselves out there? Do you get emotional with every great thing that happens and then every bad thing that happens? I used to be an EKG, emotional EKG, like this up and down and up and down my first few years as a business owner because I was basing the success of my business on every good or bad thing that happened instead of just looking at the big picture. So it's that's where I I learned that every time I invested in myself and fixed my own inner thought process and my own inner skill set, then my business would grow. And then if it plateaued for a while, then it'd be like, okay, here goes some more. And then it, you know, it it just I don't, I think some of it is people aren't in an environment that they realize that it's important. So once they do get into an environment, they don't know where to go or even what to do first because they're starting a business and they're drinking through the fire pose.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

I think that's really an important reframe, uh, Lynn. And thanks for bringing that up. And I I think I couldn't agree more because I totally relate to the fact that uh this whole corporate culture is no less than a blob because it's I mean, it's so surface level that you only focus on the realistic aspect and you know the key areas or whatever is that uh your your R is focused on.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

But yeah, performance stuff and it's yeah, exactly. Here's where you reverse it. And if you exactly if he said, okay, Cyan, you know, what's important to you? What are your goals for your life? What are your goals for your business? What are your priorities? And if every corporation started focusing on the employees, what's important to them and helping them satisfy that, that employee is gonna work harder for the corporation and the whole company's gonna rise and the revenue's gonna rise. But that's not how it's been designed. It's it it has to be clipped.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah, and uh I think you know, I I I have I have had conversation with some founders previously, and uh, you know, they they I mean we have spoken about this model where every employee is actually an owner, you know. So there's there's this beautiful model of shared accountability. So maybe we'll talk about that or get to talk about that later. But you know, this whole hustle culture and corporate culture that we have right now, I think that's really rather very performative. And uh I think what what you're really framing is rather really true, uh Lynette. So I think we we need to, you know, take a step back and zoom out and rather now look at what you need to do in order to actually set that boundary and invest more in yourself, like you said. So, Lynn, for all the listeners who are listening to this right now, okay, who kind of not been able to live in alignment and still, I mean, in that performative sphere altogether, what would you like for them to hear today? You know, what what do you think help them stay out of that grind culture even when the pressure returns? So what would you like to see?

SPEAKER_01 18:27

So I think there's a couple of things, and and I'm not thinking that there is I'm not saying that you should leave your corporate job. Maybe you should maybe maybe you should maybe you should but I think it goes back to what go back and look at what's important to you, what are your values? And is the life that you are living in alignment with your values or in conflict with your values? And I'll give you an easy quick story. I said told you, you know, I always I wanted to be able to figure out a way to make money. I was ambitious. I figured out very quickly that if I got into sales, I could make as much money as a man without a college degree. So I pursued sales and did well. And then I saw my boss who was there when I got to work, and he was there when I went to go home. And I went, how's this gonna work when I get married and have kids? This doesn't seem like it's gonna work. I had never entertained the idea of becoming an entrepreneur, but watching him and knowing that if I wanted to get promoted, that's the life I was gonna have to live. And that was not in alignment with how I went as a mom, then they then the divide started. And that happens with a lot of women. They think they're all very career-oriented and they'll put in the 60, 80 hours week until babies come and then boom, totally flips the switch. Then they feel like, nah. So thank goodness I saw a head before I had got married and had kids. So that's when I pursued another company. And it was because of my values of faith first, family second, career third. I had freedom, flexibility, I had financial freedom, but I could create as much money as I wanted, but also within the excuse me, within the time frame of however I wanted to do it. And I've been doing that now for 37 years. So going back to that is what's what are your values? So look is how is that in alignment? Maybe there's a way for you to just negotiate your schedule or your boundaries around your family, etc., within your corporate job. Or maybe there's just something that you've always wanted to do that brings you joy, that just makes your heart sing that say, you know, if I didn't have to work this job, I would love to do this. Almost universally, every time I talk to someone who's laid off from their job. And there will be layoffs because of AI, that's just gonna happen. But you know, you could see that as like, oh, that's bad, or you could say, Oh, that's good. I see that's all good because it's gonna allow a lot of people to probably pursue a passion with something that God made them for. It's their gift that they were born. But the door doesn't open until sometimes you're forced to. So to answer your questions to think like what are your values, what brings you joy, what comes naturally to you that you're really good at. And then go, and that's a starting point. What are you willing to live with? What are you willing to live with? What do you need to say no to? And who are you saying yes to that you need to say no to?

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yeah, I mean, I I totally resonate with that because you know, me personally as well, I would definitely choose to have maybe less money, but at least enjoy what I love doing the most, right? Rather than have more money and end up being sad. And I think that that is a narrative that a lot of people might not agree, but that is something that really resonates with me and would like to put that forth to all the listeners listening to this. But nonetheless, Lynnet, I think that was indeed the most powerful message of this entire conversation. So for someone who's listening to this right now, you were never meant to earn your rest. Rest is what makes everything else sustainable. So I want you to live by that, perhaps, or ponder about that thought for a few minutes as we wrap this off. But Lynette, I think I personally have loved this conversation and highly I did resonate with this. So for people who actually resonated with this conversation and want to go deeper into your work or hear your keynote or just stay connected to your message that you're sharing, where can they find you at?

SPEAKER_01 22:37

They can find me um on Facebook under my name Lynette Sarantino. But they can also contact me through my website, which is chaos2boss.com. C-H-A-O-S-T-O-B-O-S-N. Are you allowed to connect?

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Perfect. So we'll have that details in the show notes so that listeners could easily reach out to you, Lynnet. And thank you so much for bringing forth this real and honest mix, I would say, to this conversation, because uh this has been and will be an important reminder for all the listeners. So, folks, to everyone listening to this as well, if you have stuck with us till this point, I want to thank you for sticking with us till the end. And if this episode did give you permission to put down something that you have been carrying for long, maybe take that permission, maybe sit with it. And if there's anything that resonated with you, maybe that was the message that you needed. So, this has been Cyan on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, part of the Healthy Mind Biopic Network, and we'll see the next one. Till then, restful folks, and live fully.