When A Lyric Finds You

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Dear listeners, there's a certain kind of song that finds you at the exact moment you need it. You are driving or making dinner or sitting in your car after a long day and suddenly um lyric lands in a place that you didn't even know was still tender. You catch yourself. Maybe you cry a little, maybe you just breathe deeper than you have in weeks. That's not a coincidence. That's music doing what music was always meant to do. Ah, so today we are sitting with the person behind songs like that. So hey day listeners, welcome back to another powerful episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. I'm your host, Avik, and this is the podcast where we talk honestly about mental health, not as a concept, but as something we all carry every day. And my guest today is please welcome Aston Stevens. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Thank you so much for having me. Grateful to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Amazing, Aston. And um, dear listeners, before we delve deep into the discussion, I'd quickly love to introduce you with Aston. So Aston is an artist and songwriter whose music speaks to the quiet battles so many of us fight in a private. So his works sit right at the intersection of vulnerability and strength, and that's exactly where we are going today. And in this conversation, we are talking about the internal battles. People really name out loud how an artist holds both softness and resilience in the same breadth, and how music can become a real tangible tool for healing. Not just something that plays in the background of our lives. So why do it? Let's get started. Welcome to the show again, Aston.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Thank you, thank you. Thank you for having me.

Aston’s First Real Connection

SPEAKER_01 2:18

So Aston, like before we uh go into the uh heavier stuff, I want to start with something human. Like um for a lot of artists, uh music is not something that you choose, it's something that chooses you back. So yeah. So so I'm curious, like what was the first time um music felt like more than sound to you? Like uh the first time it felt like it was doing something for you? When if you can share anything.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Yeah, um, I'd say for me, the first time was in middle school. Um, it actually started uh with poetry, and I'll say poetry and music kind of have a um very like close relationship um in the way that my journey started. Um in middle school, I kind of feel like as a young boy, you're really finding yourself and you're trying to um find yourself and find where you fit in in the grand scheme of society. And um, you know, where I'm from, there's not a lot of avenues um when it comes to outlets. It's usually people my age, young black kid, it's it's sports or it's it's band. And I didn't really find my place in any of those at that time period. And so I started writing and you know, sharing my poetry amongst peers, sharing my poetry, going to uh you know church on Sundays and you know, just freestyling. And um it was one of those things I I noticed first how people gravitated to it, and so it was kind of like yo, I might actually be good at this. And then from then I learned how to build a personal connection and actually express myself through it. So I'll say for me, my earliest memories when I felt like music was actually something for me was definitely like middle school. I'll say more so like middle school going into high school, more so. Got it, got it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

I mean, that's such a beautiful place to begin because I think um most of us can point to a moment like that. And um, I mean, even if we're not musicians, a song that saved us, a lyric that held us together on a bad night, music has been doing that work for a long time.

What Healing Music Really Sounds Like

SPEAKER_01 4:40

So and also in this uh if you talk about the misconception part, like um there's this idea out there that healing music has to be soft, slow, gentle, full of light. Almost like it has to be uh I mean it has to sound like healing. But your work seems to know something different. Like uh so from there, like I'm curious, what is the biggest misconception people carry about what healing music is actually supposed to feel like?

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Yeah, um I feel like especially with me being specifically in rap, one of the biggest misconceptions is rap is nothing but destructive. Like rap only destroys. It's not so much as now with our generation and the generation that's coming up next because uh rap is and hip hop is turned into uh such a big genre. But especially early on, um I remember seeing it so destructive. There can never be a healing aspect to it. Um and I think a lot of that is because of the sound of it at its core. But um for me, it represents it it kind of shows each emotion. Every emotion is not um just soft and calm. Sometimes you have fiery passion, sometimes you have um a very loud sadness that speaks out. Um sometimes it's happiness, and sometimes your happiness is very loud, it's very upbeat. Um, and I feel like music in its healing form displays all of those emotions because at the base core of it, us as artists, we're literally just expressing ourselves. And sometimes it's not always just calm. And me, naturally, I'm a calmer person, but my emotions are not always in a calm state. Sometimes it is like, yeah, I'm just I'm about to spaz, like, and that's just the outlet that comes out. And um if it was just me feeling that way, then it'd be okay, that'd be one thing. But notice how other people relate to it, like, yeah, I feel that same way, um, shows that it is it's a deeper aspect to it. So I don't feel like the healing aspect of music um always has to be calm. I feel like it's a it's a place for every uh part of music, just like it's a place for every emotion.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Okay, okay.

Comfort Versus True Healing

SPEAKER_01 7:09

And um also uh if you say like do you think people sometimes mistake comfort for healing or I mean because those are not always the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

1000%. Um I one thing I witnessed a lot growing up, and this is a perfect example of this, is um people using different vices for comfort. And um just like you can use a vice like a drug, um, I've you know growing up I have family members and I've had family members, multiple family members that have passed from um drug abuse. And um, it's just something that I seen growing up, and to them it is a comfort, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's healing them, obviously. It's doing the opposite, it's killing them. But for whatever they're feeling at the time, it was comforting them. And um, I definitely feel that that's the same thing. Every everything that comforts you is not healing you, and sometimes healing can be very uncomfortable. You think about like when we go through procedures or healing our physical body, it's an uncomfortable process sometimes. And I think music kind of represents that too. Um, even in creation, sometimes it's not always comfortable to be vulnerable in music, but it is very healing, and sometimes it is very, very uncomfortable even when making songs and speaking on certain things because it is so vulnerable. Um, you're literally letting people into a vulnerable space that don't even know you, you know, and so that right there can be challenging sometimes. Um, one of my favorite artists, J. Cole, he spoke in, he has a line where he says, Um, I'm paraphrasing it, but he says, I'm sharing, I'm sharing my most vulnerable moments to people that don't even know me. They know me more than I know myself. And sometimes as an artist, it can really feel like that. And some people can have a misconception of you because they only know a part of you, you know, and they think that this is how you, you know, live your whole life, and this is just only a piece of my life. So, you know, it can definitely get uncomfortable, but I feel like growth and healing is uncomfortable, it's a part of the process. Exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

I mean that's the piece I want listeners to hear. Like uh healing is not always pretty. Sometimes the song that heals you is the one that finally lets you feel what you have been avoiding for years. Right.

Writing Through Doubt And Trauma

SPEAKER_01 9:39

And if you go deeper, like you have said music speaks to internal battles uh people face. And I want to stay with that phrase for a moment, like internal battles, right? So uh when you're writing, which ones do you find yourselves returning to almost um without meaning to?

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Um the constant ones or doubt, for sure, for sure doubt. Um, and I think more so doubt um as uh what you're internalizing about yourself. As an artist, it's not um your career is very inconsistent at times. It's not like you're working a nine to five job. Like I go here, I work these hours, I get paid this amount. It's not that cut and dry music, it's very up and down. Sometimes you may have very high moments, sometimes you have low moments, sometimes it's not much going on for you. And so um that can put a perception on your mind that, man, maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this, or maybe, maybe I was wrong in going this direction, or maybe it's time for me to uh quit. And um, I definitely feel that that's an internal struggle um that is very consistent, not only doubting myself, but um doubt from other people about my career that may have been, you know, kind of passed up his childhood, or you know, telling your dreams of certain people, and they're like, nah, this is not real. You know, you gotta you gotta put this away. Um, you know, those are things that that definitely stick with you. And I I feel myself returning to um, but also just trauma in general, like trauma experience, more so growing up versus um adult, but even so still, they all stem from the same thing, like just household trauma, um, community, things you witness in your community. Um those are the things that I often revisit, but they they not only help me um to you know go a little bit deeper in my own mind, but they also um, I feel like they make the best, you know. I feel like that's my best work, and you know, obviously not even just for myself, but people that listen to me consistently, the songs that they tell me are their favorite, they they usually come from somewhere along those lines, um, of though, you know, more of the the trauma. Um, but it's either it's just the perspectives of it change. I I think that's more so as I grow my perspective of it change versus it just being oh, it's just woe is me. You know what I'm saying? I think in the beginning was more of that, and I think now my perspective of it is more like, yeah, this was necessary. I'm appreciative of these moments. Exactly,

Strength And Softness In One Voice

SPEAKER_00 12:30

exactly.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Yeah, ooh, and um I mean uh there's there's this idea that vulnerability and strength are opposites, and uh that to be strong, you have to hide the soft parts. But in your artistry, they seem to coexist. So how do you personally hold both in the studio, on stage, in the writing room? I mean, what does that balance actually look like when no one's watching?

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Um I honestly think it's just me being who I am. You can't I don't think you can really pretend to be a strong person. I think eventually that's gonna be tested, um, whether it's by an outside force, someone else, or um in general. Life is gonna test how strong you are. And it shows um in your lowest moments how strong you are. So I think for me, it's it's more of a natural thing because I've dealt with so many things, I'm not afraid of any challenge, you know, um, that really comes in front of me. And but at the same time, I don't have to, I don't have anything to hide. So it's more so of just I'm just being who I am because I really don't have anything to hide. I feel like when you are true to yourself, there is really not much people can hold against you. It's just like, okay, what more can you say about me that I haven't said, you know, in a sense, the only thing that really can harm you is something that you're you're really hiding. But when you go through and you face those dark things within yourself, it's kind of like okay, I don't really have much to hide. So it's not really an issue with me being vulnerable and the strength comes from my experience, you know. So I think those things cause this because it's just at this point who I am, you know, in a sense.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Exactly. I understand, yeah.

Sharing Stories Without Exposing Others

SPEAKER_01 14:22

And um okay, and and and has there uh ever been a moment where you failed too exposed to the song you released?

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Um not necessarily. I I haven't necessarily felt too exposed. The only thing I will say is I'm careful about telling stories that are not my own story. Um, so obviously there are other people that exist in my life. I'm very careful as a writer about um their lives in my story because I chose this um for myself. And so I chose to put a spotlight on these things, but there are other people that involve, and sometimes I leave other people out because, you know, they didn't choose this. You know, this is not this is not their life that they sign up for. Or um I'll, you know, talk have a conversation with them about it and see how comfortable they are with me sharing this thing. Or and there are there's a lot of things that I left, like there's stories that I told, and there's parts that I left out because they involve other people on purpose. Um, so I that's that's the one thing I will say. I'm mindful of other people when you know, um, but you know, my story is still my story, you know. If it comes down to like, you know, hey, it is what it is, I gotta I I need to tell this. There's but um I try my best to be mindful, um, especially of the um people my family, you know, especially my family.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Exactly, exactly.

Using Music As A Healing Practice

SPEAKER_01 15:53

And um so so let's get practical uh because I have listeners right now who are not musicians but who use music every single day to get to get through. So I want to ask you directly that um how can someone who is not an artist use music as a uh real tool for their own healing and uh personal growth? I mean uh not uh uh just as a uh mood setter, but as something deeper.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

So before I ever wrote a song, I was definitely uh a listener first. And um for me, I think it was certain I found what appealed to what where I was at that time in life. Um I think it it it depends on a lot of what you listen to and who you're listening to. And I'm not saying that you have to know the artist in and out, but um it does help when it's somebody that's relatable to you, your story. It may not even be where you're from, but it's something about that person that appeals to you. Um that definitely helps. Um and finding that artist and then, you know, finding the songs that speak to you, and really um I know when a song speaks to me, especially when it's not my own, because I can't get it out of my head. And a lot of times I feel like it's a message that's being relayed, and it's something that I need to really I need to get from that. And so I'll go back and I'll actually like literally study the song. And it that helps me get through a lot because I'm listening to this person, and a lot of times it's not even an answer to what I'm going through, but it's just this person is dealing with the same thing, and I'm paying attention to their perspective, and so I'm seeing how they view it, and I'm like, whoa, that helps me. If it if it's nothing more than just simply somebody else feels what you feel, sometimes that helps a lot, just knowing that you're not out here alone. You know, somebody else feels this, somebody else is dealing with this, somebody else is battling this, you know. Um, I think that alone just helps. Um, finding artists that that you feel appeal to you. There's artists that I had that appealed to me at one point in time that don't appeal to me anymore, and that's okay. Um, it was a season that that music helped me get through. Um and I think it just depends on the listener, um, you know, your your choice. But I feel like no matter what, no matter what genre, um we all humans, you know. And so if you're dealing with it somewhere out there, you may have to search a little bit. Somebody is making music about this somewhere out there for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

True, very true, very true.

Staying Grounded While Staying Open

SPEAKER_01 18:38

And um, okay, okay, so so I would like to ask that um making vulnerable work is one thing, and sustaining it, uh keeping yourself healthy, protected, and still creating from a real place year after year, is something else entirely, I say. I mean uh so how do you keep yourself grounded when your art requires you to keep opening up? Like how do you protect yourself without shutting down the very thing makes your music yours?

SPEAKER_00 19:17

That's a great question. Um for one, I constantly work on my craft in general. And so I feel like the for one thing, you have to be very practiced in what you do. Um, no matter how vulnerable you, you have to be practiced enough to even be able to tell your story uh in a way that people can understand it. And so that's one thing I'm I'm always working on, perfecting my craft. And it comes in different forms. It's not just always me writing songs. Um I journal every day, uh, meditate, pray every day. Um, you know, take time to myself. Sometimes I step away from everything, from music, you know, and just take time to myself. And that time usually helps me realize how I actually feel. Because sometime, and I don't know if it's just a man thing, you can go through life just um on autopilot, and you're not really processing your feelings. Things are just happening, and you just, you know, you're going through it, you're handling things day by day by day by day. I know for me, especially with children, it's one thing that I notice I'll do um because you're so used to just acting and um, you know, or reacting and you know, taking that time and kind of like processing, okay, this is this is what happened, this is how it made me feel. Sometimes my wife even asks me, like, how do you feel? And I have to even ask myself that, like, man, how do I feel? I really don't know how I feel right now. And just simply taking some time and answering that question definitely helps, you know. So it's a lot of factors. Um, I I think just staying practicing my crowd, um, staying disciplined in my own life, um, you know, physically, mentally, and spiritually, um, taking care of all three of those, and um, you know, just just um staying aware. I think that's another thing too that keeps it pure. And um, you know, you know, just just being aware of what's what's going on around me, being aware of what's going on in me, in my life, and just being able to properly communicate it. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Amazing. I mean, it's really, really amazing.

Hard Days And The Next Song

SPEAKER_01 21:26

And uh, I mean, uh, what do you do on the hard days? Like uh the ones where the well feels empty or the world feels too loud or songs are not coming.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Yeah, um a wise person once said when you have like writer's block, it's because you haven't lived your next song. And so I I honestly just go and live. Like I go and take a walk, I go and play the video game, you know, catch up on some Netflix. Um, if it's something that needs to be handled, like just in regular life tasks, go do what you need to do, go clean up, you know. Um it it's just simple. I just live. You know, sometimes I take a drive, you know, no, no destination. I'm just gonna hop in the car and just drive. And I may not even listen to anything, maybe totally silent. Um, whatever, whatever helps you silence everything, I I think that's that's the answer to it. And it's not always just the same answer. It's just I me personally, I just live, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, yeah. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

That's amazing.

Where To Find Aston And Closing

SPEAKER_01 22:36

And uh Aston, like before we move, uh, I'll just ask you, like, if someone wants to connect with you, how they can connect.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Yeah, so um the easiest way to connect to me is uh my website, and it's my firstandlastname.com, ashtonstevens.com. Um, all of my platforms, recent releases, you can find them on my website. Um, but if you're on any social platforms, um, it's consistent, it's it's ashton stevens, that's it on s t-e-v-e-n-s across all platforms. Um, and um, if you're looking in stream, um, it's simply Ashton Stevens. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

So, uh, dear listeners, what I'll do is I'll put all the links and the details into the show notes for your easy reference. And uh uh with this hope, dear listeners, uh, I would love to share that uh if something here landed for you, my invitation is very simple. Like put on a single song tonight, not as a background noise, but as a companion. Listen like it has something to tell you. And if one person comes to mind who needs to hear this episode today, send it to them. And this is this it is. So uh with this hope, this is your host away, and this is Hali Manhattan Life. Uh take care of your mind, take care of each other, and I'll see you in the next one. Thank you so much.