When Success Costs Too Much

SPEAKER_01 0:04

There's a version of success that looks great on paper, but it does indeed cost you everything that matters. The health that starts slipping, the family get-togethers that you keep missing, and the version of yourself that only seems to show up on the weekends when kind of the emails slowed out for you. And for a lot of people who are listening to this, I think building that kind of success right now is tough. And some of them are starting to wonder if there's another way. Tonight's guest is building something real, and he has made a decision that the scoreboard at work will never come at the expense of people at home. Welcome back to Healthy Bind, Healthy Life. I'm your host, Cyan, and I'm really glad that you're here. My guest today is Hedley Schneidingle, founder and CEO of New Zealand Property Bias. A bias agency managing over 160 properties, leading a remote team, and building something that genuinely helps families create financial freedom. He's also a dad of two and someone who has made a clear and deliberate decision that business success means nothing if your health and your family suffers for it. So Hedley, welcome to the show. I think uh really glad to have this conversation with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Yeah, no, I'm I'm really looking forward to saying then uh yeah. Look at looking forward to seeing what we what we uncovered this morning. Or to death.

unknown 1:26

Yeah, absolutely.

Resilience Built From Hard Work

SPEAKER_01 1:27

So, Headley, before um we get into the kind of the the the mindset that really is required um to actually tap into this kind of uh work, uh before we get into that big stuff, I want to start with your story because I think you have had the um journey, you know, farm work in New Zealand, it is in the mining and transport industry in Australia, and then coming back home and building a property business from the ground up. So when you look back at that um hustle arc, like what do you think that earlier chapter, uh, you know, that physical and demanding outdoor work that actually built in you uh that still shows up in how you live today?

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Yeah, I I think the big thing with the the outdoor work, the farming, the isolation really builds resilience. And and I don't think that you can get that without pressure, without stress, without being put into situations where you have to think for yourself, you have to make your own decisions, and you know, with without that, and if you have an easy run, uh you know, if if it catches up to you later in life, you you haven't do a whole lot of backpedaling and uh go back and and learn from stuff that you could have learned earlier on in your in your journey.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Yeah, I think I I agree because I think what uh you know those demanding spots do for you is that it really uh pushes you to that limit and you know makes your uh brain uh and it's not just about the mind, it's about the body itself, right? Um being in that um, I would say, uh puzzle mood. And then I think as as you age, as you slow things down, you you start to actually see that as uh something like the foundation, right? Something that you could build up from there. So

Freedom Goals And Scaling Reality

SPEAKER_01 3:19

uh Helly, you you manage 160 plus tours uh right now, and uh you lead a remote team and work with clients across New Zealand and Australia, and uh not to mention you're also a dad of two, and I think that's again uh different from you know the initial journey that you had, but I think that's still a lot of create spending at once. So I think a lot of people in that position quite normalize the stress uh and you know they just absorb and keep going. So what really made you decide early on that you weren't going through the pressure of growing a business that just became the background of your life?

SPEAKER_00 4:02

In in terms of uh making the decision, I I don't suppose it was uh a decision that I set out initially to to grow like we have and and you know but become what we have. My my initial sort of thought was was is that if I can start one business, or if I can just get out of the nine-to-five job, if I can dictate when I want to go to lunch, if I need to go to my daughter's school assembly, I can go to that. I you know, I don't have to apply for leave. And that was the initial sort of thought process behind it. But what we've found over time is is that is when it's when it's just you operating, uh, as soon as you stop, your sales stop, as soon as you stop, your marketing stops, as soon as you stop, your delivery stops. And I suppose you you get yourself to a to a situation where you go, well, I can either leave it as just me, uh, or I'm gonna have to grow this. But there's like a pain point between uh you know 300,000, which you can probably do by yourself with with one person to like a million dollars. And because when you get to the the million mark, you've had to employ a couple of people, but if any one of them leaves, you've got a gaping hole. And so it then becomes a thing of, well, from a risk management perspective, is is that you either sit there with a at a million dollars with two or three people that work for you. If one of them leaves, you're in a world of pain, or you've got to go, right, I've got to push to the next level so that if one leaves, I've got someone else to slot in there. So it wasn't necessarily the the initial objective. It's just sort of how it's how it's panned out. There's always been a whole lot of ambition to do a whole lot, but I was probably naive in the start to think that you know I could I could do you know huge or large revenue with you know just myself and and one other person in the industry that we're in.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Yeah, I mean, uh there's something um fundamental that you really said, and I think that really that part really resonated with me. Um and you know, if I had to rephrase that, you could either work a nine to five under a boss, but then um I would say maybe not be as much accountable as you know running a business. And and and I I totally understand um uh Hedley where where we're heading from here. Um I mean, you could you could make that decision to yourself, right? Would you rather uh not have a boss and you know be able to dictate things on your own? But also that implies that uh more responsibility and you know making yourself more accountable. And I think that is the kind of uh pressure or stress level that initially um I would say this is something that a lot of us don't really account for when uh you know they're starting off on a new journey.

Non-Negotiable Family Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 7:00

So you mentioned that present at home is is almost like non-negotiable for you. And that word non-negotiable is interesting because most things in businesses are negotiable by nature. So actually protect that boundary when business uh has its own demands and its own urgent moments and peace.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Yeah, it's it's something that that I that I do and then I you know continually attempt to get better at. I'm I'm by no way uh a master of it. Um but I I think the the big part of it is is delegating things like emails, uh using your your calendar to block out those those times. If you've got lunch with your your wife or your partner or significant other that that's blocked out in there and you can actually physically see when when that time is, because if it's in your calendar, it's a priority. If it's a case of, well, hey, look, my family's important to me, well, where do they show up in the calendar? Where's it showing you that you're going to your daughter's gymnastics at four o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon or whatever that might be? And I think that's the the case is it becomes really easy to put business, business, business, business and and nothing on the family side. Um, but you've really got to weigh out where that priority is. If it goes in the calendar, then it's it's it's got to be done. Um and you you haven't got the excuse of oh, someone else has booked a meeting over that time, so now for I you know I can't do it. Put the put the important family stuff in there and then build the rest of the week around what that looks like.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

Yeah, and and and Ellie, may I ask, what does being present at home actually look like for you on a regular you know, weekday?

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Yeah, so in in terms of that sort of thing, it's basically putting the phone down and and not having it it swing off your arm. As I say, it's something that I'm I'm getting better at. I'm by by no means the the expert at saying every night when I get home, uh, you know, but like the last night, for example, my wife went to bed early, she wasn't feeling well, so I went back to work. Um but it it's more so about on those those times that you're that your family are there, that you're not sitting in front of the computer, that you're not sitting there on your phone, that you're you're there with them. Uh and then most things can be sorted out the next day. I mean, unless something's on fire and the house is burning down. Nothing bad's gonna happen by not responding to an email at that very second or at that very minute. And most people are pretty understanding for like, hello, I can't talk about with my family. Um, though normally a pretty unreasonable person to go, well, no, you need to answer my my phone call.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Absolutely right. That is something that I think most of us, you know, make up uh scenarios in our head because uh I think what you're really pointing to is something that a lot of people will overanalyse or even skip over. That presence is not just physically being in a room, it's whether the work followed you in through the door and uh you know, building a routine that really keeps those two words generally separate rather than just technically separate, it's uh you know, having this own kind of discipline, like you mentioned, and uh obviously uh there comes uh calendar management as well, like you said, uh knowing you know which things you could uh delegate, and you know, I mean looking at it from the lens of okay, so these are the things that uh I need to take on because if I don't, then you know there's there's literally it's going to affect your business. And then you look at things that uh you think you could delegate to someone and then you do that, and then there are things that you think you know you could put it, I would say I'm gonna put it this way that you could really put to the bin, right? So that's something that's not important for you. So, you know, having that kind of clarity is also something which which is very fundamental, Hadley, when uh you know one is trying to really make boundaries and uh make room for himself or herself. So uh one question just out of curiosity. So, what does that calendar management uh really look like? So uh curious if is there any any specifics in your mind that you uh or a framework that you have been using uh from the start when you were say building this business?

Delegation And The EA Advantage

SPEAKER_01 11:24

So anything that helps you get better with time management?

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yeah, I I think most people tend to think that the business that they're in or the area that they're in is is so specialized and no one else has ever done or no one else can do what they do. And it's it's a it's a common thing, right, when you talk to people, uh I'm I'm different, I'm special, my business is different, no one can do what I do, and it's just a fallacy. Um so one of the one of the biggest things that we've that that I've done, one of the best hires that I've made is with an executive assistant. Uh, and she looks after my calendar, she looks after my email, she looks after, you know, all of those type of things that are admin heavy. And it's it's one of the traps for business owners when you're starting out is that you obviously you want to do everything yourself. Um, you or you go and you hire a sales person or a marketing team or someone like that, and you've got to pay them, you know, we'll talk in New Zealand dollars. You pay them $60,000, $70,000, $80,000 New Zealand to do the sales, to do the marketing, to do the delivery, but you're still doing the $25 an hour, you're still doing the $50,000 a year job. And and it's and it's upside down. It should be, you should be starting at the bottom of the at the replacement ladder and getting someone to take off those lower end tasks from you first, and then working your way up the ladder as opposed to doing what a lot of people do. Go and get the salesperson, go and get the marketing person. But because they then haven't got the time to go and put the systems and processes in place, they then can't work out why the salesperson isn't performing, why the marketing person isn't performing. Um, because they just haven't got the base for them. So it's about replacing your time as you go, getting a really solid base there for someone that can take off the mundane tasks from you. And but the other thing with the inbox too is that your inbox also tends to be an everyone else's to-do list for you. So if you're in there all the time and you're sitting there and you're looking, you're like, right, I need to go and get this presentation sorted for next week. You open your inbox and Sally's just emailed you to say, hey, urgently, can you do this for me? Go, jeep, it's okay, I better go and do this thing for Sally. And the presentation that you're going to make to 100 people gets put off for another five hours. Or you know, it gets pushed further down the line. And then Jim emails you and he asks you to do something else. And so if you've got someone else that looks after that for you, then the your your ability to focus on what you need to do and and your timing gets dictated by your EA who can put the things in your calendar, then that's how you get ahead. Not employing someone to do the sales and and your time's getting dictated to by everyone else. Because generally speaking, you're going to be the best salesperson for your product, especially when you start. Because you're not going to be able to get the top salesperson. But you are going to be able to get you know a very good EA to look after the the side of things that they need to look after.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Wow, that's um that's a solid piece of advice, I think, for a lot of listeners listening to this right now. Um, because uh that is something that uh I think a lot of leaders uh they they do talk about their um morning routines and uh their their habits, but uh often do they really share what really happens when the system breaks down for a week, or uh you know what happens if uh they go uh missing for a week for whatever reason, right?

Remote Teams, Trust, And Culture

SPEAKER_01 15:13

It could be uh something uh overwhelming or drastic, let's say. But uh by the way, the the way you uh really reframe that, Hedley, I think that is what I I feel um that is where discipline and having this clear vision uh of of the uh necessities really comes into the picture. And uh I think on top of that, uh since you lead a remote team, I think that really adds another layer of all of this. Uh it it's a bit nuanced because uh you you can't really walk past someone's desk and read the room. You know, you you you you can't always tell who's struggling. So uh Hadley, how do you uh uh uh genuinely connect to the people on your team? And uh you know, what does that tell you about your own mental well-being and uh the shape, you know, I mean, the kind of leader that you are to them?

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Yeah, I I this this one's probably gonna sound so extremely simple. But just just treat your remote team like humans, like people, like you, like you would everyone else. Uh say good morning to them, find out about their family. If if uh if they're struggling with something, they'll open up to you. If you uh it's it's like anyone, right? You you treat them uh like a robot, you you're gonna get robot responses back. And and I think that's really been the key thing, and it's the feedback that we get from the team is like, you know, you guys actually care about us. We've we've worked for other companies before, and we get a phone call to say, oh look, get fired. And it's for our for our team in the Philippines, that's the biggest fear uh with working with them remotely. Is that um, and especially when they start with us because not they they don't know the company, um, but it's that thing of like one day I'll just wake up and I won't have a job. So that's the that's sort of the the key thing um with our with our team there is like that that reassurance, that thing of like, hey, look, um you're not just gonna wake up tomorrow morning, you're not gonna have a job. If there's an issue, we're gonna we're gonna work through this with you, we're gonna point it out. And if the for me, there's always that there's there's two issues. There's either a a process and a system problem. And if if something goes wrong, it's like we've our system, always our process. If we haven't got that system and process in place, then it's my issue, and we need to get that sorted out so that the person has the the the structure that they need. Um if we've got the structure that we need, then we've got a people problem. Uh, and then we need to, and there's either two things there is either we've trained the person on it and they haven't followed it, which we need to give them some more training, or we haven't trained them what they need to do. So therefore, once again it becomes our problem. But once we've once we've trained them, um, and then we've we've got the the playbook that they need, and then there's still an issue, then we've got a person problem. We either need to get them trained up or need to transition them off. And I think that's well that that's the thing for us with our remote team is it comes down to a thing of we're we're very fair, we we look after our people really well, but because of the remote nature of it, that once the trust is broken, then that's sort of a hard line. It's it's it's often it's often gone. Um and I and I think it's probably one of the things that when business owners struggle is that that structure in terms of, and especially for that first time, uh with the you know, with with the EA side

Systems Vs People Problems

SPEAKER_00 18:50

of things. And um what I can do for your listeners is that if they want a copy of my EA playbook, uh, is just to jump on Instagram and DM me EA at Hadley Nightingale, and I can fire them across a copy of that to give them some insight into the structure of how we go about setting that playbook up. Um not only for the EA, but also for our other team members as well.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

Perfect, perfect. Uh so we'll have that in the show notes Sidley. And you know, something uh that he said earlier, um I think that's fundamental. Uh he said, you know, it might look simple, but I think that's tricky because you know, when um uh deadlines and uh a lot of other pressures are on your shoulders, uh you might not be in a spot where you know you're counting for all these little things. And that is something uh that I think a lot of founders and uh you know CEOs don't say out really loud is uh the way you show up internally in your team and uh the way that you communicate or you know um um treat your team members. I think internally it has a direct effect on the culture around you and it it just builds

How To Connect With Hedley

SPEAKER_01 20:05

that um transparency and also accountability. You know, I think it induces that level of accountability in your team as well, which is fundamentally very important. Uh, should you want someone someone to you know be there uh I mean throughout throughout your business and uh I mean for whatever they they were hired for and maybe you know take take take their skills to the next level by offering them that growth. So I think uh Hedri, that might be uh the best note to wrap uh this conversation upon. But for anyone who actually resonated with your advices and you know your story, um maybe a founder or a leader or a parent who is achieving a lot, um, but you know, quietly knows that something important is starting to slip and and wants to connect with you. So uh besides Instagram, what's the best place for for them to find you and read more about your work?

SPEAKER_00 20:56

But that that that is the best place. So at Headley Nightingale on Instagram's role like content goes up, best place to DM me and start the a conversation there is the uh the best place.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Perfect. So we'll have that in the show notes, folks, for all of you who want to connect with Headley Nightingale.

Closing Lessons And Listener Challenge

SPEAKER_01 21:12

And uh with that, folks, uh what I myself personally am taking from this conversation is that think of business not just as um discipline, it's kind of a life tool, right? And and the most important systems that you will ever build aren't the ones that really uh broke things like your revenue. They are the ones that would protect your relationships and the kind of person that you're still choosing to be when the work is done for the day. So that's what I would like you to all sit with uh for today's conversation. But uh, Headley, thank you so much for this conversation. I think uh it has been uh a reminder that the healthiest business are usually built by the healthiest people and not the you know relentless ones. So thanks for uh coming to the show, Headley. I really appreciate that. And folks, for all of you listening to this right now, if something in today's episode did stay with you, do pass it to someone who might need to hear it. Uh, maybe a leader, maybe a co worker. And yeah, with that, folks, uh, this has been Scion on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. And do subscribe to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life because uh we do take care of yourself and the people that you're building for. So I'll see you in the next one.