The Becoming Trap

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Somewhere along the way, most of us picked up an idea that does not actually belong to us. The idea that to grow, we have to become someone else, a better version, a higher self, a new identity. So we chase it, we perform it, we post about it, and quietly, underneath all that becoming the realist gets buried a little deeper. Hi everyone, I'm Yusuf and welcome back to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. This is the space where we slow down and have honest, useful conversations about the inner life behind the busy life. Today's guest is Alan Edmondson. Ellen is a multi-award-winning author, intuition mentor, and spiritual guide. Her book, A Place of Love and Light, has helped thousands find their way back to themselves. And she's also the founder of Highly Intuitive Kids, where she supports parents in nurturing intuitive children. Today, we're talking about living from within, about reconnecting with who you are really, without losing yourself in the process of trying to find yourself. With that, I welcome my guest Allen to the show.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Hello, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I appreciate this topic because I think it's a wonderful and powerful topic to discuss. So I'm very appreciative of being part of the conversation.

Reconnection Starts By Turning Inward

SPEAKER_00 1:41

So, Alan, I want to start with a misconception because I think it is common. Common in the personal growth world. People hear words like spiritual awakening, soul-led living, intuition, and they immediately think it means becoming a different version of themselves, like new habits, new look, new language, you know. But your work suggests almost the opposite. So I'm curious, what do people most commonly get wrong about what reconnecting with yourself actually looks like?

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Well, for me, um, and what my work focuses on is really getting people to understand that it's not about becoming somebody different or having to, you know, do something different. It's really about getting clear that we need to quiet the noise around us and we need to turn inward because it's through that we all have this inner guidance that's there for us that you don't have to be anybody different. You don't have to do anything different. You just have to quiet the outside noise and ground yourself of going inward and listening to the inner guidance that we have available to us for connecting back with yourself. And then there's something greater that that governs our lives. And so I think that's that's really the key is learning how to quiet the outside noise, let go to responsibilities and the expectations, which drive a lot of what we do. You know, people are so externally focused and start to turn inward and know that the answers are always right there within us.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Yeah. And suddenly someone shows up to your work already deep in that becoming someone else

Letting Go Of Shoulds

SPEAKER_00 3:31

loop. What is the first thing you usually have to, you know, undo for them?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

That's a very good question. The first thing that we that I work with people on undoing is to start to let go of what they think overthinking, what they think it should be, they should be, or what they're doing, what they should do, let go of the should've and just get quiet. And I help people cnap outside noise. You know, get quiet. You have to create that space in your life to listen within and really get in touch with yourself. And a lot of times people don't make space for that because we're busy in the everyday life of, you know, doing tasks and, you know, having to deal with this issue or that issue or work or children or whatever it may be, that we've got to take time to slow down. And that's what I do, some of my work and workshops and all that. I take people through exercises where they come together, they get quiet, and do, and we do a lot of journaling because I think when you journal, you connect more deeply with yourself. And you start to realize that your answers and your inner guidance and listening to your true self, your inner heart, your inner guidance is always providing you the answers. It's always kind of guiding you. But a lot of times we miss it because we don't listen. We get so busy caught up in all the other routines of life.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Yeah. And that is such an important frame because so much of what people call growth is really just a well-disguised running, running toward a new self because the current one feels unbearable. But real growth tends to look much quieter than that.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Real real growth does look quieter than that. And it's it's in each decision that we make, is how we show up for ourselves. But honestly, authentically, we have to show up for ourselves. And that, like, like I mentioned, it's it's letting go of the the expectations, responsibilities, the conditioning that we receive. So when we can each day, when you can make a choice or take one small step that's really aligned with you, with your heart, with what you want, with what you feel, what feels right in your soul, in your in yourself, when you take those depths, that's growth. That's your real growth. It's not out there and it's not looking for all the answers from everyone else or other sources, or we always have exactly what we need if we slow down and listen, because we're constantly being when you get that inspiration or that thought, that guidance, you know, that that feeling, that nudge that you need to do something or follow this path, don't ignore it. Sit with that because that's that's that you're getting those little nudges from life that's telling you this is the way to go, this is what you need to do. But it's it's showing up in your everyday choices and decisions and those it's every little step that's growth. And people don't always look at it that way.

A Messy Awakening After Loss

SPEAKER_00 6:56

And Ellen, you had your own profound spiritual awakening back in 2013, and that became the doorway into the work you do now. So I want to stay with that for a moment because awakenings are not all light and clarity, they often shake things loose first. Look so looking back now, what was actually happening underneath that experience for you? Like, what was the deeper thing your soul was trying to bring to the surface?

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Well, you know, I love that question because what was happening at that time was me following my true path, me really tapping into what I was meant to do. And I'll I love this question because at the time I had some life-altering experiences that I had just lost my mother. My mother passed away, and three months later, I gave birth to my son. So I had, I was going through my highest high because I just had my new baby and the lowest low because I just lost my mother, who was my best friend. But through all of that, it was a big shift going on because I had left a career in an executive position, which was a very um externally focused, you know, logic-based type of position. And I was much more creative, intuitive kind of person, creative type of person. Um, and I wasn't really tapping into my purpose. And I believe when we have these major shifts, it's really your true self giving you a wake-up moment and bringing you a sense of clarity that you need to do something different, that your purpose may be a little different than the path that you're walking. And for me, underneath it all, it really made me stop and think what what's my real next? What am I really meant to do? And usually people experience some kind of awakening or shift when you have some, when it gets to the point of a major life experience. It could be a death, it could be a birth, it could be a loss of a job, it can be, you know, a major transition, move to somewhere, um, an illness will come up that makes you stop and question why am I here? What is my purpose? What am I meant to do? And then that's when you can start getting quiet. And I went into deep reflection and meditation during that time when I had that big shift. Um, I gone inward and started asking those questions. And I think everybody gets to a point where they do that. And as I went deeper inward, the answers started coming to me. But I not the answers were coming, they're always coming to us, but you gotta get quiet and you gotta learn to trust and trusting what you're getting. And I started learning how to trust it. And as I've learned to trust more and more and more, it's unfolded into the work that I do today, which was completely what I did before. But this is what I knew I was meant to do, and I had to take a leap of faith with that.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

And that is so honest because people romanticize awakening, but the truth is it is often very messy, lonely, and confusing before it becomes meaningful. And naming that part matters, especially for the listener who who is in the middle of their own.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Absolutely, absolutely, because I can tell you it it did get messy for me. And as I act, like I mentioned, as I went through the transition of losing a loved one and giving birth and all this that was happening. Um, and I went deeper inwards, I just started realizing I started having these intuitive connections and intuitive experiences that I couldn't explain. And so as I was going through that, I started questioning. And I think anyone who finds that they, you know, have a stronger intuitive connection, um, you start questioning yourself. You start questioning one, is this real? Is this the real path I'm supposed to take? Is this real? And sometimes, even for me, I was questioning, like, wow, what do I do with this? And, you know, am I with these in intuitive experiences I was having? It was like, was I losing touch with reality? What was happening? How do I walk through this? What do I do? And so it I went on a big search of research and and finding someone that could help courses I was taking. I went into an intuitive development course. I went and started talking with folks. And the more I found out, the more research I did, it took a while for me to overcome my limitations of my belief system because I grew up in one belief system, but the experiences I was having was taking me in another direction. And so I had to figure out how to marry up my the belief system I grew up in and what was happening with me. And then just the shift in my whole perception of reality. And I'm so glad I walked through that messy middle, wholly that messy middle part of things. And I kept the faith and I kept trusting that this was all leading to somewhere bigger and better for me. And I came out on the other side of it, where I am today, and how I'm able to help people to understand their experiences and to walk through that messy middle, knowing they're not alone and that they have support and that it's real and that you can work through it. And so, yes, it I love that question because it does get messy before you get the clarity, but you have to have faith and you have to walk with it and know that it's always leading you to something bigger on the other side.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yes, and then your work bridges real life experience with intuitive insight, and I think that bridge is exactly where people get stuck. They want to trust themselves, but they don't know how, especially after years of overriding their own knowing. So, practically speaking, for someone who feels disconnected from their own intuition, where do you actually have

Journaling To Rebuild Self Trust

SPEAKER_00 13:14

them begin? Like, what is a real doable starting point?

SPEAKER_01 13:19

When it is a real doable starting point and something that I take people through and work with is I love the power of journaling. And journaling is so important because one, not only can you track your progress with it, but it helps you go deeper with getting in touch with yourself. So one of the exercises that I do um with my workshops with folks is uh we'll get quiet, learning to quiet down the noise. So stop the noise. And then and make space, create space for you to turn in with them and listen. But then just to write, somebody can take a journal, just to write a question at the top of it. You know, what is my soul asking me to do today? Or what is my soul trying to tell me today? And I tell people it's not a conscious logic exercise, it's a let it surface opening to receive and letting what comes through naturally come through and write back down. And as you start making that space for yourself, you start surfacing, you start realizing the answers will start coming to you that I'm like, wow, I didn't even think about that. I didn't, I just came out of me. But you're now you're tapping into that guidance in a way that you're consciously able to let it surface and receive it and look at it and help it, let it help you shape your path going forward. So geroline is powerful. I offer that to people. It's a powerful school disease.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

And how do you help someone tell the difference between you know fear dressed up as a gut feeling and a true inner knowing? Because I think a lot of people don't trust themselves because they have been burned by that confusion.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

Fear is always something that draws people, fear and hesitation. Anytime you're feeling, I would say when you feel that you have that sensational feeling of discomfort or you know with ease, you know, not ease with something, there's there's a there's an element there that is not in alignment with who you are and where you move to go. Because when you're in alignment, things will just naturally start to open up and flow for you. Um, you start seeing the synchronicities happening, you start, you know, that person you were just thinking about happens to call you, or you bump into somebody, or you needed some information, that book just shows up, or that article just comes on television, or you just hear something on the radio, it it just starts falling into, and that's your inner guidance subtly trying to help you move along your path. But the fear part of it is trying, sometimes trying to hold on to what you've outgrown. But when you, whenever you're feeling hesitant, you're feeling some resistance, you're feeling disconnected, it's time to step back and say, fear is somewhere in here. Fear is driving what I'm trying to do. And so you've got to look back and say, what is really gonna be my best, the best thing for me in this moment. See what that feels like, and take one small step toward doing that. And that's gonna help build your trust. And when you see it works out, say, okay, that's not as bad as what I thought it might be. And then take the next small step and trust it. And then over time, it's like building a muscle, and you'll start building your trust up and you'll see that, and then the fear starts to go away. It lessens and lessons and lessons, but these are all just in incremental steps in choices that be.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Yeah.

Hearing Your Own Voice Again

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Wow. So much of self-dress is not about having more confidence. I think it is about being able to slow down enough to hear which voice inside you is actually yours.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Absolutely. That is absolutely I 100% agree. It is, it's about slowing down, flying the outside noise and seeing how much of that those responsibilities and those expectations are placed on you externally, and how much of it is really what you want. Because we're just from the time we're little children, we're raised to do certain things or be a certain way, or you know, meet others' expectations, whether it's school, parents, whatever it may be. And somewhere in the middle of all that, you've got to get quiet the noise to remember yourself and to find your voice in it all. Because it's easy to start living for other people's expectations and responsibilities and lose yourself and lose connection with that inner guidance and the process. So it's important to make space to stay tapped into it because that taps you into yourself, your soul, and something greater that's always guiding you. So if you can close out the other noise and you let do what you have to do, but bring in that other side where you bring in your guidance, marrying it up with it. Now you're gonna have a you're living from a more aligned, purpose-driven place. And you're gonna find more peace with that peace and clarity and contentment, and naturally the new

Resources And Quiet Closing

SPEAKER_01 18:46

confidence grows.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Alan, for people who want to connect with you or want to learn more about your work, where can they do that?

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Oh, perfect. Um, if people want to connect with me, they can go to my website, elenedson my name.com, and they can find all kinds of information here on um workshops and offerings that I have, my book. You can find out information there, but it's also available on Amazon, so you can get it through there. But um, it's a just that's a labor of love for for me. The book is just something that I believe will help a lot of people. It comes from that my deep reflection and meditation time. And then as I went through that and the inner guidance I was receiving, I put together in over 10 years a comic compilation of 10 years worth of putting this inner guidance that I was receiving into writings turn into the book. So I I believe it will be very helpful to anyone. You'll get something out of it.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Perfect. And to everyone listening, all these links are in the show notes. So just go and check those out. Ellen, is there any last message that you want to leave us with?

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yeah, I will say that clarity comes from just getting quiet and connecting with them. And when people realize that it's not out there, it's really turning inward, getting quiet, and trusting that you always have the answers within you. You really do. And let yourself create space for that, just like anything going to the gym and exercising, create space to connect with yourself and with that inner guidance, and you'll see that life starts to open up and flow in a whole different way for you.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

If something Alan said today and it landed for you, sit with it for a minute before you scroll on. Because reconnection rarely happens in big, loud moments. It happens in the quiet ones we usually respond. So if a feeling came up while you were listening, the kind that whispers something true about your own life, maybe today is the day you let yourself stay with it instead of pushing it away. This is Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. I am Yusuf with my guest Alan. Thank you all for listening. I thank Alan for coming. Take care of your mind. It is the only place you really live.