Aug 9, 2026
17 min
Stop Avoiding And Start Moving, with Alexander Osterman
Avoidance is sneaky. It doesn’t always show up as a big breakdown, it shows up as one more delay, one more scroll, one more “I’ll handle it tomorrow,” until you realise you’ve been drifting for months or years. We sit down with psychotherapist and writer Alexander Osterman, founder of Osterman Psychotherapy and author of Quit Evading, to name what’s really happening under procrastination, emotional numbing, and that heavy sense of being stuck.
We dig into the core drivers Alexander sees in therapy, especially with men: fear, overwhelm, and the self-criticism that follows when a task starts to feel like a mountain. That matters because calling it “laziness” makes the problem seem simple, but it also keeps you from addressing the real issue: the threat response in your mind and body. We talk practical mental health strategies for shifting from shame into problem solving, including how to recognise the “I’ll do it later” signal in daily life and turn it into a cue for action.
Then we get extremely concrete. Alexander shares the first homework assignment he gives most clients: make your bed. Not as a motivational poster idea, but as a small, visible win that restores order, builds self-trust, and creates relief through action. If the step still feels too big, we walk through how to divide it in half, and then half again, until you can start. We also touch on OCD and compulsion overlap, why change is not linear, and how persistence over time becomes consistency.
If you want tools for breaking avoidance, reducing anxiety, and building healthier habits one small act at a time, listen through to the end for Alexander’s free resources. Subscribe, share this with someone who’s been stuck lately, and leave a review with the small step you’re taking this week.
Upcoming book: Quit Evading: A Therapist’s Field Manual for Men in Drift
Connect with Alexander:
Website: https://alexanderosterman.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/alexanderosterman
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