Aug 4, 2026

20 min

When Helping Hurts: A Police Officer On PTSD, with Andrew McLean

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Some jobs don’t end when the shift ends. Andrew McLean spent 18 years as a police constable and detective, and he’s honest about what most of us never witness: the mental load of walking into strangers’ worst moments, taking control, and then carrying the emotional aftermath home in your nervous system.

We talk about the myth that officers are unshakable, and what “strength” looks like from the inside. Andrew describes the split many first responders live with, the professional mask that gets you through the call, and the human part that feels everything later. We dig into the calls that leave the deepest mark, especially death notifications, and why empathy can become both your superpower and your breaking point.

Andrew also lays out how PTSD in policing often builds slowly rather than arriving all at once: sleep loss, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, shaking hands, brain fog, anger, cynicism, and the numbness that can push people toward risky coping. He shares why the culture of “it’s part of the job” keeps so many emergency service workers suffering in silence, and what helped him finally reach for support, write his book, and advocate for first responder mental health and suicide prevention.

If you’ve ever felt yourself hardening, scanning for danger, or losing your spark, you’re not alone. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find help sooner.

Guest Resources:

📘 Book:
Beaten Black and Blue

📱 Connect with Andrew:

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