Why Male Survivors Stay Silent About Abuse | Liana Lucine

What happens when a man experiences abuse, harassment or sexual assault—but feels that society will never take his pain seriously?

In this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Rashmeet welcomes Liana Lucine, a former London Metropolitan Police officer, trainer and advocate for male survivors, for an important conversation about trauma, silence, shame and the barriers men face when seeking support.

Drawing on her experience training police recruits and specialist units, Liana describes noticing a troubling pattern: training materials frequently portrayed women as victims and men as perpetrators, despite the wider range of experiences officers encountered in real life.

She also recalls men approaching her privately to share their own experiences of abuse, assault and harassment. Some had previously been laughed at, dismissed or told they should have enjoyed what happened.

The conversation explores how cultural expectations around masculinity can make it difficult for male survivors to acknowledge their experiences, express vulnerability or ask for help.

Liana discusses the emotional consequences of silence, including shame, anxiety, depression and the fear of being judged. She also explains why anger can sometimes be an overlooked sign of depression in men.

Most importantly, she offers compassionate starting points for survivors: acknowledging what happened, releasing self-blame, learning about trauma and finding someone trustworthy who will listen without judgment.

The central message: Men can experience abuse and assault. Their experiences deserve to be taken seriously, and they should never have to earn the right to be heard.

About Liana Lucine:

Liana Lucine is an advocate for male survivors of abuse, harassment and sexual assault.

In the interview, she describes her previous career as an officer and trainer with London's Metropolitan Police, where she taught subjects including domestic abuse, sexual assault and harassment.

Her experiences highlighted gaps in how male victims were represented and discussed in professional training, inspiring her advocacy for greater awareness, recognition and compassion.

Her work emphasizes validating survivors' experiences, challenging harmful stereotypes and creating safer opportunities for men to seek support.

Key Takeaways:

• Men can be victims of domestic abuse, harassment and sexual assault, regardless of the perpetrator's gender.

• Cultural expectations that men must always be strong can discourage disclosure and help-seeking.

• Dismissing or laughing at a survivor's experience can deepen shame and isolation.

• Male survivors may fear ridicule, relationship consequences or damage to their reputation.

• Survivors do not have to share their stories before they feel ready.

• Acknowledging an experience privately can be a meaningful first step for some survivors.

• Hearing other survivors' stories may help people feel recognized and less alone.

• Anger or irritability can sometimes accompany depression, although they are not diagnostic on their own.

• Partners, friends and colleagues can help by demonstrating empathy and respecting boundaries.

• Survivors may experience anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks or other trauma-related difficulties.

• Self-blame is common after traumatic experiences, but responsibility lies with the person who caused the harm.

• Professional, trauma-informed support can be helpful when someone is ready to seek it.

• Survivors deserve compassion regardless of whether they report their experience or disclose it publicly.

   

   

   

Connect with the Guest:

https://www.lucinetraining.co.uk/ 

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