Why Women Feel Guilty Putting Themselves First | Rashi Kaur - The Joy Consultant

What happens when you've spent your entire life taking care of everyone else—only to realize you've forgotten how to take care of yourself?

In this episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Rashmeet speaks with Rashi Kaur, the founder of The Joy Consultancy, known online as The Joy Consultant, about women's self-worth, guilt, motherhood, cultural expectations and the emotional cost of constantly putting yourself last.

Rashi shares how a health scare forced her to question the life she'd built around caring for her children, husband, mother and everyone else who depended on her.

Growing up in a Punjabi family, she recalls the expectations placed on girls from an early age: helping, caregiving, keeping everyone happy and learning to prioritize other people's needs.

As an adult, she realized that fulfilling those expectations had gradually distanced her from her own happiness.

The conversation explores the fear many women experience when they begin setting boundaries. Will their marriage change? Will their family understand? Will friends judge them?

For Rashi, those fears did not unfold as expected. She describes her husband becoming one of her biggest supporters and her family benefiting from the changes she made.

She also shares practical ways to begin reclaiming joy: spending five to ten minutes alone in silence, choosing one meaningful activity, returning to forgotten interests and speaking openly with loved ones about personal needs.

The central message: Taking care of yourself doesn't have to mean caring less about the people you love.

About the Guest:

Rashi Kaur is the founder of The Joy Consultancy, a business focused on helping women reconnect with joy, personal agency and the freedom to prioritize their own wellbeing.

She describes her own journey from years of caregiving and people-pleasing toward greater self-awareness, self-compassion and intentional living.

Her work encourages women to question inherited expectations, release guilt and rediscover the interests and experiences that make them feel like themselves.

She also offers a Going First Quiz through her website to help women reflect on where they are in that process.

Key Takeaways:

• Putting everyone else first can gradually disconnect women from their own interests, happiness and identity.

• Family and cultural expectations can teach girls to associate caregiving with their personal worth.

• Being the eldest daughter may involve pressure to keep others happy and manage their emotions.

• A health scare prompted Rashi to reconsider how she was prioritizing herself.

• Guilt and shame can persist even after women recognize that their needs matter.

• Choosing yourself doesn't necessarily mean abandoning your responsibilities.

• Supportive partners and family members may respond positively when they understand the changes you're making.

• The guest recommends starting with five to ten minutes of quiet time each day.

• Instead of changing everything at once, choose one activity that brings you joy.

• Movement, yoga, painting, singing or even an uninterrupted cup of tea can be meaningful starting points.

• Working mothers may experience guilt even when their professional lives bring them fulfillment.

• Communicating your needs can help loved ones understand your decisions.

• Reconnecting with childhood interests may help you rediscover parts of yourself you've neglected.

• Self-care is not a guarantee that relationships will improve, but it can create opportunities for healthier conversations and boundaries.

Connect with the guest:

Instagram

LinkedIn

https://www.thejoyconsultant.co/ 

 

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