When Intention Still Stalls

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Most of us know exactly what we want. We can describe it clearly. Well, somewhat. Maybe we have written it down. We can visualize it. We have set the intention and then nothing moves. Or worse, things start moving and then quietly reverse. And we tell ourselves that we are not really trying hard enough, not thinking positively. But what if I tell you the problem isn't effort at all? Welcome back to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life or the Healthy Mind by Avik Network, where we have this kind of honest and practical conversation about what it generally takes to feel well and live fully. I'm your host Sayan, as some of you would know, and today I'm joined by Kelsey Aida, bestselling author of The Manifesting Fix and my pocket guide to manifestation, energetic alignment coach and co-host of Five Iving It, one of the top 0.1 person podcasts in the world with over 500,000 downloads. Kelsey helps people identify and release the hidden resistance that keeps

Important Disclaimer And Listening Mindset

SPEAKER_01 1:03

the city.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Hey dear listeners. Before we begin, a quick note from Hildiman Payavik. This episode is created for educational and informational purposes only. The views shared by our guests are their own and may not reflect those of the host or network. Nothing in this conversation should be taken as medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Please consult a qualified professional before making important decisions. We encourage you to listen with curiosity, think independently, and use this content as a starting point for reflection, not a substitute for professional guidance. Now, settle in and enjoy the conversation.

Meet Kelsey Aida And The Core Problem

SPEAKER_01 1:48

So, Kelsey, I think that's a long list and it's kind of hard to wrap my mind around it. So welcome to the show. It's an honor to have you here with me. And uh I mean this is something that really I think 95% of the people are struggling with. So very excited to have this conversation and see where this flows.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here. I couldn't agree more. I feel like people in the personal development space have tried every goal setting technique, every manifestation technique, and maybe with some success, right? But it's like we try and we ask and we don't receive. We take action and it's not working. Like what's going wrong? So I'm super excited to talk about that today.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Likewise, I think you pinpointed the exact problem and how we react to it from a psychological standpoint. But before we move or begin with the conversation, folks, a little disclaimer to all of the listeners here. So some statements may reflect personal belief and experiences and are presented as individual views and not medical advice. Listeners should consult qualified professionals for medical conditions. So, Kelsey, I think you started right on the point. So before we get into this topic, I want to go back to the beginning of your story because I think it really would add more context or substance to this conversation.

Depression Recovery Through Daily Tools

SPEAKER_01 3:09

I think you healed yourself from three-year depression after a dance injury without medication, just using mindset and lifestyle shifts. Now, that is something that I hear too often. Lifestyle shifts and you know, it's not really a small thing. So how how did you, you know, approach your lifestyle shift? I mean, what was, or what were those moments of instances when you realized that uh, you know, your own mind, what it has become uh during that period that became the foundation of everything that you teach today?

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Yeah, so you kind of alluded to my story a little bit that it all started when I was injured and I could no longer become a professional dancer, which crushed my heart, obliterated my identity, was the only thing that I was good at or ever wanted to do. So it really sent me into a spiral, which landed me in a three-year-long depressive episode where I was diagnosed with functional depression. So I was still like going to school and living my life, but on the inside, I was like dead, numb, so unmotivated, so sad. And towards the end of that period, I just hit my pain threshold and I was like, okay, universe, God, like send help, help your girl out, just send anything, anyone, any tools. Like, I need to learn how to enjoy my life again. And in that asking, in that prayer, what I received was a great therapist. I started working with a shaman. I started reading all the right spiritual and self-help books, just all these resources started coming in. And so I implemented. I was like, okay, today I learned about a gratitude list. Let me try that. Tomorrow I learned about, you know, how to process your emotions. Let's do some more of that. And so I was using all these different modalities from spirituality, positive psychology, healing, emotions, energy. And it worked. Honestly, within about a month of doing that work diligently and dedicating myself to it, I started feeling honestly even better than I did before I got depressed when I was perfectly healthy. And I just realized like, why is this not super accessible, common knowledge information? More people should know how to use these tools to their benefit so that we're not unnecessarily stuck in these long emotional cycles that we don't need to be stuck there for so long. So that's kind of where my story started. And once I started feeling better, I just made it my mission to start sharing. I felt very called to teach other people what had worked for me. And now, almost 10 years later, that's evolved into the podcast, high vibe in it, multiple published books, a sub stack that's growing, where I write essays for people every week, like all kinds of mediums where I coach people, retreats. You said it all in the intro, but really it's just kind of blossomed into a career where I'm helping to empower people from stuff that I know has worked for me.

The Reframe: Not Identifying As Depressed

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Yeah, I mean, that story where, you know, it went from being numb to coming out with flying colors. So, Kelsey, what was that catalyst, right, that enabled you? I mean, via this mindset shift that you're referring to. What what what was that instance or maybe that realization that made all the difference if you could maybe sum it up in one, or if you had to sum it up in one small sentence, or I'll I'll make it three words. So in three words, what what would you like to see?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Oh my gosh. So the big mindset shift for me that helped me get out of depression was no longer identifying as depressed. And what I mean by that is in my head, I realized like I am not my depression, which I know is more than three words, but we're getting close to the three words. And I just thought about it like, okay, when you're sick, you have a cold or you have a flu, you don't say like, I'm my cold or I'm my flu, right? Like you don't identify with it. You just know that it's a temporary experience. You gotta drink some Gatorade, maybe you need to rest more, maybe you need to go in the sauna, you know, you know that it just involves more self-care and your body will naturally heal itself. And I realize, okay, if this is a mental illness, if my mind is sick, why wouldn't my emotional body and my psychology know how to heal itself if I give it the proper time, space, and support? So when I switch my mindset from, oh, I'm a depressed person to no, I'm not my depression. I'm just experiencing this temporary illness. My body has the intelligence to overcome illnesses naturally. How can I support it in doing that? That's what really catalyzed the healing journey for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Wow, I think you're pretty much I think that's really an important reframe and something that most of I should say the working people really miss out because and there are multiple reasons. I mean, definitely it's I mean, they themselves don't have much time to, you know, maybe sit and reflect on what's going on, burnout being one of the most important factors, and then there's seasonal anxiety and stress kicking in as well. But we'll come to that uh towards the end of this conversation, maybe. But

Why Manifestation Fails: Subconscious Resistance

SPEAKER_01 8:35

uh Kelsey, I think your book that's called The Manifest uh Manifesting Fix, and you know, to me it implies that something is broken in the first place. And I think that's an honest framing. So uh because I think so many people try manifestation and you know try to think positive and being an optimist, all of that, right? And sometimes it just doesn't work for them. So how do you, or I mean, what is actually even being broken? You know, what is that missing piece that most manifestation advice leaves out entirely?

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Yeah, great question. So my whole thesis and what I wrote this entire book about is not that you're broken, right? Like you don't need the fixing. There just needs to be some tweaks in your approach because what we've been taught about manifestation is that you just ask and then you receive. If you ask nicely and you really want it and you bat your eyelashes, that the universe will be like, here's everything you've ever wanted. When in reality, there's a couple of substeps between the asking part and the receiving part that really make the manifestation process actually work. And what I've noticed is the only missing piece for people is that they don't realize that the very things that they say they want, they might be secretly, usually subconsciously, resisting them. So, for example, let's say you want to manifest more love, but a part of you is still super traumatized from the last three situationships that you endured. So you have this aspect of your psychology that's like, no, we don't want more chaos in our lives. We don't want a relationship that went so poorly last time, right? So it's like consciously you want love, subconsciously, you don't feel that it's safe to have it or to get it or to go for it. So it's really like a safety issue most of the time, but it just comes down to resistance. Like if you look at money too, people always want to manifest more money, but then they have all these beliefs about how rich people are evil and money is bad, and I shouldn't want more than I need, and blah, blah, blah. And so you have all those limiting beliefs that are subconsciously causing you to push money away to repel it instead of attracting it. So the whole book, The Manifesting Fix, is really here's how to figure out the sneaky ways you might be resisting your goals and dreams. And then let's untangle that, work through it, get rid of that resistance, and then in the absence of resisting the things you want, you come into alignment with them. And then in your thoughts and your beliefs and your actions, you can actually move forward towards them in a more whole, excited, 100% of you on board way.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Yeah, you you talk about resistance. I mean, you talk about resistance a lot. It comes up again and again in your work, and you know, it it makes a lot more sense right now because I mean, what do you really do? What do you shed, uh, Kelsey? I think also the other missing part of this whole, you know, transformation would be just trying to be more grateful than you were yesterday, right? Because I think, you know, like you said, imagine, you know, consciously you're looking for love, right? Let's take that example. But subconsciously, you're still traumatized. I mean, you you've still got to gotta realize that, okay, you breathing right now, you're alive, and you know, you should you should be grateful, number one, for that. And number two, you know, you should be embracing whatever opportunity or you know, the change that's around you. Because I think if you if you zoom out the picture a little bit and look at you know the entirety of the universe, and maybe I'm getting a bit philosophical here, but what I'm really trying to say is change is the whole you know thing that's around us. You know, you look look at the earth, it's moving, the sun, it's moving to the galaxy, it's moving to everything is built on this prospect, right? So if you are not grateful, I think for whatever that is, whatever that situation it is, I think resistance in that case becomes a lot, you know, amplified. So I'm so glad that you you brought uh this concept up. But from a mental health perspective, really, what you're describing, you know, limiting beliefs, which becomes the very reason where uh resistance in itself is born. And then the self-sabotage as well, the inner critique. So these are the things that really come up constantly in conversations about uh psychological well-being.

Gratitude As Alignment Not Denial

SPEAKER_01 13:00

So, how do you really understand the relationship between a person's mental health and I mean emotional health and their ability to manifest what they want?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Oh my gosh, great question. So, to simplify it, the more inner harmony you can cultivate and make your baseline experience, the more that's going to be reflected back to you in your life circumstances via the law of attraction, which I like to think of as a big fat mirror. So your circumstances to a degree, right, are oftentimes reflecting back to us how we feel about ourselves, how we're feeling our emotional body, our thoughts, our beliefs, right? So the more inner harmony you can create, the more outer harmony will naturally start to come to fruition and fall into place. Now, there's different ways to do this, and I'm glad that you mentioned gratitude because I do experience when working with clients and just in my own life, when we're not feeling grateful, it actually is a form of resistance where we're resisting our current reality. And we say, Oh, the reason I want to manifest all these things in this new life is because my life right now is not okay. This is not how it's supposed to be. I don't accept what's happening. And so we block ourselves off not only to opportunities and abundance and a beautiful future, but we're just so focused on what we don't like about right now that we're keeping ourselves stuck in it. Versus if you could look at your reality and say, okay, maybe it's not how I want it yet. We're stepping off from reality into a new timeline. And we just accept, okay, this is my starting point, right? From this moment on forward is my starting point. No matter where I am, I can always like improve my life, get better, add new things, change is natural. I think that's where gratitude can come into play of like, okay, there are some things I can be grateful for right now. And if anything, I'm grateful for the opportunities, the mindset shift, what's available to me in the future that might feel better than what I'm accessing now. You know, if you want to feel grateful, you can. If you don't want to feel grateful, that's easy too. So I'm glad that you brought up the gratitude piece because I actually wrote a whole chapter on the gratitude block in The Manifesting Fix.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

That's great to hear. I think I really resonated with that as well because I think we do have a lot in common here. So Kelsey, I I think I totally understand how it felt for you. Uh and I'm gonna rewind a little bit towards your story, wherein you know, you you felt like the whole world is collapsing, you know. I mean in front of you. And from there, you have written five books and built a podcast with over half a million downloads and now run international retreats and coach hundreds of people, and the list continues. So What I would really like to maybe you know, just one last question uh before we wrap this off is that for the listeners who are listening to this right now what do you want people to understand about what is actually possible for them? You know, because I think and just to add up to that question, do you think even if there's anything that is, you know, beyond possible, if you think something's impossible, like uh what's really the difference between being realistic versus sorry I'm not getting the other word, but beyond realistic, just for the perspective here, you could say so what's really the difference between being being realistic and uh being optimistic, if that

Time As An Asset Realistic Versus Delulu

SPEAKER_01 16:49

makes more sense.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah, so if we look at what humans have been able to accomplish, we always seem to be able to outdo ourselves over time, right? But an important piece of this lesson is that time is actually an asset that's on your side and not a weapon that you need to use against yourself by saying, Oh, this is taking too much time. That must mean that it's not meant for me. Oh, this is taking too much time. I guess I'm not good enough. Oh, this is taking too much time. I guess it's never gonna happen. It's like, no, no, no. We need to embrace the passing of time as the thing that makes you wiser, better, stronger, faster. Like it takes time to become the version of yourself who can achieve all the things that you're dreaming of in your mind, in your soul, in your heart. So I think your relationship with time and creating a healthy one is really important to feeling like things are possible because what most people do is they just look at how much time has passed, what little results they've achieved, and they make it mean something bad. And then they get stuck in that meaning. So instead of doing that, think of the stock market. You put money in it, and over time it compounds, right? And it grows. But without the time piece, it's not gonna grow very much. Same with you, same with your life. And I know this is an unpopular opinion because so many manifestation teachers are like, it should be happening instantaneously. Like when you're super aligned, it'll just happen. And it's like we exist in this world where nature takes time to blossom and bloom, and there are seasons for everything, and we forget that we're a part of nature, right? So, for us to create our best lives, of course it's gonna take some time. It takes time for a tree to grow, it takes time for the bees to create their beehive, it takes time for anything in nature to build something amazing and grow into something amazing. So, allowing yourself time, I think, is a huge piece because that opens up possibilities. Now, as far as being realistic versus being like delusional or optimistic or delulu, how they say on social media, I think a little bit of delusion goes a long way. It's like you want to be realistic enough to recognize your starting point, but you don't want to be so realistic that you stay stuck there. You want to have some imagination, some possibility to be like, hey, if that person can do it, I can do it too. Or, you know, we've been so close to this invention or this discovery before, like I want to be the one to make it happen, right? So I think it's just a mindset shift of not making time passing mean something is wrong, and also opening yourself up to a little bit of delulu, just a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Love it. And I think we need more of such, you know, unpopular opinions in the world because right now it's filled with only popular opinions, right? It gives you something, you know. I mean, it changes your vantage point really. And I I think it was beautiful, you know. We we talk a lot about our achievements, but we don't really, you know, talk m much of time being an asset and that it could, you know, I mean, the the returns, like you said, I I love that analogy that you gave of the stock market. And I think i it's real with you know everything we do in our life as well. The results do compound over time. And I think that's the best note to wrap this up on as

Where To Find Kelsey And Final Takeaway

SPEAKER_01 20:28

well. So, Kelsey, for the listeners who actually resonated with the some or perhaps the whole of the conversation, where's the best place for them to find you? And uh if you could share uh the details to your podcast as well.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

Yeah, so you can find me at kelseyaida.com. My new book, The Manifesting Fix, is already available for pre-sale. It doesn't come out till December 1st. So if you don't want to forget that it exists, just pre-order it now. It'll show up at your doorstep during the holidays and you'll be super happy because then you can go into 2027 ready to manifest your best life, delete all your blockages. So that's where you can find the book. As far as the podcast, if you just search High Vibe in it, which I'm sure you'll link to it in the show notes for people, they can just easily find a really fun. It's kind of like a spiritual meet self-help, manifesting self-love podcast for anyone who's into that kind of stuff. Great free resource. And yeah, if you want to work with me, that's on my website. So you can find everything, all of this at Kelseyaida.com.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Perfect. Note it. And Kelsey, I'll put all the details in the show notes so that the listeners could easily reach RPU and find you and connect with you and learn more about your work. And I love the podcast name as well. And, you know, maybe would love to, you know, connect with you and have a conversation about this, you know. And maybe we'll come back later for a conversation, you know, around this on Healthy My and Healthy Life as well. But with that, folks, we hit today's minute mark. And something that I really want you to take away for uh maybe the rest of the day today is that and what Kelsey has left me with uh is this, right? I think uh you look at time and you realize that you need to realize that you are not, you know, at the lowest because no matter how low you are, just remember there is even a lower point than that, and you have not hit that yet. So that is what I would like you all to sit with and maybe ponder about that quote. I don't know, I just made it up right now. I like it. I would I would love you all to sit with that thought for a few minutes maybe after we're done with this conversation. So, Kelsey, thank you so much. I think it was a truly, you know, amazing conversation, and I think what a note to end on as well. So, to everyone listening, uh, whatever time it is where you're right now, the life you want is not out of reach. So, you have been listening to Helly Mind, Healthy Life, and this has been science. So, just take good care of yourself, and I'll see you in the next one.