The Quiet Dissonance Within

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Have you ever looked at your own life and thought, this looks right from the outside, but something in here doesn't feel like mine? That quiet dissonance is one of the most common and least talked about forms of suffering. We built lives that fit the script perfectly and then wonder why we feel so far from ourselves inside them. Today's guest walked away from a life that looked like success and chose something far more honest. This conversation is for anyone who has been quietly wondering if there's a truer version of their life waiting for them.

Meet Linda Lyons And The Theme

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Welcome to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, the podcast that meets you exactly where you are and gently invites you a little further inward. I'm Marchita and I'm so glad you're spending this time with us today. My guest is Linda Lyons, a certified conscious life and parenting coach, author and founder of Live From Your Truth, who supports growth-driven women in coming home to themselves and living from a place of deep alignment and authenticity. Today we are exploring something that a lot of us feel but rarely name. What it means to live from alignment with our authentic selves and what it costs us quietly and over time when we don't. This one goes somewhere real. And Linda, welcome to Healthy Mind, Healthy Life. It's so wonderful to have you here. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Thank you for being here. And Linda, I think this conversation is going to be life-changing for a lot of listeners out there, especially the women listening. So before we start, there is a gentle disclaimer to the listeners. Some statements reflect personal belief and experiences and are presented as individual views, not medical advice. So listeners should consult qualified professionals for medical conditions. And now that we have this out of the way without wasting any further time, let's dive into the conversation.

Leaving A Successful IT Career

SPEAKER_01 2:16

And Linda, before we step into the deeper conversation, I would love to start with your own story. So you walked away from a high-paying IT career and a life that looked good on paper to build something rooted in authenticity. And that is not a small thing. So what was the moment or the series of moments when you knew you couldn't stay where you were any longer?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah, that's a great question. I would say, yeah, I had been in IT for about 16 years. And while I went to school for computer information systems, I minored in social psychology. So I always had this curiosity for the inner world, but didn't fully commit to or feel like I at that point could do that and make that the focus. I went for what my mind told me was the smart thing to do, which is to go into IT and business. And that's where you'll do well, you know, financially. And so I would say over the years, it just became more and more of a passion as I went from promotion to promotion and did really well. And I loved the environments I was working in. However, I felt like no matter what I accomplished, I wasn't feeling fully excited and joyful. Like I was always searching for the next thing to feel happy. I would get a promotion, it would feel great for maybe about a week to two weeks, and then realized, wow, right, maybe I spent three years working towards that. And then when I got it, it didn't, it didn't last. The happiness didn't last. And so I quickly realized over time, like there was something I was missing. What is it that makes that fulfillment, that happiness lasting that never fades no matter what? And so I think throughout the last five years of my career, things just got more and more like there was more and more of this passion for knowing myself and feeling like no matter what happened in life, I would be good. I would feel unconditional love for myself, I would feel peace and contentment every day. And and I just knew the more I focused on this type of work and knowing myself, the more everything would feel in alignment. And so I followed that calling, that curiosity, right? And then um in 2022, I fully decided to go into um getting certified as a life and parenting coach, and that's where everything started.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

That's a beautiful story, and you know, it must have taken a lot of courage to change uh your life for the better, because at that point you couldn't have known how it's going to turn out, but to take that first step, that's the most courageous part, and the most important one as well. Because no matter how perfect your life looks like from the outside, only you know what your heart truly desires. And I'm so glad that you worked for it because so many of us need to learn that from you as well. And I think this is a great place to start this conversation, which also brings me to another point.

What Authenticity Really Means

SPEAKER_01 5:45

So I'm curious, Linda. When people talk about authenticity and living from alignment, it can sometimes sound abstract or like a luxury. But in your experience, what's the most common misconception people carry about what it actually means to live authentically? Because I think a lot of people assume they already are and they are not quite sure what they are missing.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Yeah, I love that question. I would say if you are doing things because one of the main number one ways I would say is if you're doing things out of obligation, out of feeling like you should be doing it, if someone asks you to go somewhere and you say yes out of, yeah, I want to make that person happy, or they'll really enjoy it if I go with them, versus maybe I genuinely would like to spend an hour with myself and just do something self-care related or take a walk or journal or or do whatever makes me feel happy instead of doing that, but I feel like I have to, or else they won't be happy, or they I'll be letting them down, then that's not authentic. That's not me being truthful. I'm doing it to please them and I'm not being myself. And also I would say just being real, meaning like not saying or doing things because you want to get something out of a situation, out of people. There's no agenda, if that makes sense. You're not trying to make something happen, you're not looking to get a particular reaction or outcome or a sale from someone. You're being yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks. It's like I don't give a damn. I'm just gonna be me, say what I feel, and share what is honest to me, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

That's beautifully framed, and that's something so important, especially for people nowadays, for women nowadays, because we tend to have this habit of always pleasing people and doing things for others' sake. But it's so important to take a stand for yourself for making yourself happy, and that is such a tender and honest way to name it, because so much of what keeps people from their authentic selves isn't dramatic resistance, it's a kind of gender drifting that happens so slowly they don't even feel it until one day they look up and realize that they don't recognize the life they are in. So I'm really glad that you brought that up, Linda. And now um now let's go a little deeper.

Fear, Comfort, And The Mind-Made Self

SPEAKER_01 8:39

So when someone is living out of alignment, maybe performing a version of themselves that doesn't quite fit, what are the deeper patterns underneath that? What are they actually protecting themselves from by staying in that space?

SPEAKER_00 8:55

When they're doing that, I would say it's coming from fear. And most likely if we're used to people pleasing, we've come from environments when we were younger where we felt we needed to be that way to keep the peace in the environment, whether it's home or school or and we do that because we feel it's a way of surviving, right? When we're younger. But then over time, as we get older, realize that that's not needed anymore as adults. We don't need to keep playing the good girl or the sweet girl or be kind to other people just so that things go smoothly. We can speak up, people can handle us not liking what they have to say. It's okay to just, you know, let go of that way of being and and be who you are.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Absolutely. And there's there's something so quietly liberating about that, you know, the idea that the self you have been protecting, the one you have been performing isn't actually you at all. It's a collection of adaptations, and and that that means you don't have to destroy yourself to change, you just have to come back. But I also believe that uh a huge part of not being able to do this is because of your own comfort zone. So many of us are inside this little bubble bubble that we have built, that even if it's uncomfortable, it's still a comfort zone for us, and we don't have the courage to take the step to get out of it. So that I think your advice, it will help a lot of listeners out there.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

And what you touched on was not wanting to get out of our comfort zone. I would say to see that as, and in the work I do with women and men sometimes, it's seeing the difference between the mind-made sense of self versus who we truly are. And that mind-made version of us is based in fear, based in vanity, and it always wants to feel like it's either better, it's rating itself as better than someone or not as good as someone constantly. And it's wanting the sense of feeling like it's whole and complete, but it can never fully have that. It's just this running commentary that's running in our minds constantly. And one of the primary things which you shared is that it wants to feel comfort and they wants to feel safe. But seeing that version of us that's in our head, that's made up, that's not real, and realizing that that's the main objective of that part of us, and choosing not to do things from that desire for security and comfort is when we're not choosing to live from that version of us and moving into living from the true self, which is outside of the mind, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

That makes so much sense, Alinda. And I think you have framed that so beautifully.

Everyday Signs Of Misalignment

SPEAKER_01 12:21

And now let's let's talk about what misalignment actually looks like in everyday life. Because I think many people are living it right now without a name for it. So, Linda, what are the signs? And uh, you know, the ones that are easy to explain away, but are actually the body and the soul saying something important.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

The signs that we're not in alignment, I would say, are well, the bigger ones would be if you're in a career that you feel like you should be in, but it's not what you're passionate about. And you know, or you feel like there's something there that you want to be doing. You're not quite sure. Maybe sometimes we know, maybe there's like this idea of let's say for me was inner work, and I didn't quite know what that would look like, but I knew that area of life was very much something I was curious about. So maybe we have a general idea, or maybe we're not even sure, but we know we're not in it right now. That's a clear sign we're not in alignment. Also, if, like I mentioned before, if we're doing saying one thing but feeling something else, if we say we want to do things out of pleasing people, but we're not really, that's not the true desire. We don't really want to be doing the things that we say we want to be doing. And what else? I would say if you are just not being truthful in general with people, with your relationships. If you're in a relationship and it's not fully like you're not excited and joyful, but you feel like you should be in it and you should stay in it, that's another should, right? Another mind-made sense of how we should be living life versus who we truly are and what we're excited about. The real you is like maybe curious about what else is possible in terms of relationships, but your mind might be telling you, I should stay here, I should continue. I've been in this for 20 years, and how can I leave? And you know, so that's out of alignment. There's a conflict inside, and the real you know it wants adventure, curiosity, something fresh, but the mind is stuck on sticking to what feels comfortable, going back to comfort and security, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Absolutely. I think a lot of people will be able to resonate with this as well. And another thing I would like to add is something that you have experienced as well. So it's it's uh the biggest sign is when uh you know you're constantly seeking something and yet you don't know what it is. So that is another sign of misalignment, I feel like. But other than that, I think you have summarized it perfectly, Linda. Everything that you have shared today, I think is going to help a lot of um, you know, listeners out there, especially the women who want to take that first step but don't know from where to start.

Small Steps Toward Your True Life

SPEAKER_01 15:36

So before we close, I want to ask you something for the person listening who has spent a long living, so long living for everyone else that they have genuinely lost the thread of who they are. Maybe they are afraid that if they start living from their truth, they will lose everything they have built. So, what would you want them to hear right now?

SPEAKER_00 15:59

I would say you can something you can do starting right now is in any given day in any given moment, choose to go do what feels exciting for you, what you can't what you're curious about, can't wait to try. Maybe you want to go out and have coffee and sit and read a book somewhere, maybe you want to go take a walk, like start living from that spark of excitement and joy within you in small ways and start feeling what it feels like to flow from alignment to the joy of being yourself because that's what's happening. When you feel that spark, that inspiration, and you want to go do it, but then maybe your mind says, Oh, but I have 10 other things to go do, choose to ignore that and go do the thing that feels exciting anyway, in small ways, and just start building that muscle of doing things that way more and more. Over time, you start to see and feel what that's like, to live from what you genuinely feel excited for. And that's the real you having those sparks, those inspirations, and just flowing. And the more you do that, I feel you'll have that momentum of building that life of living that way. And over time, you'll it'll feel like almost like two different worlds when you're choosing to live from alignment and flowing with what's exciting versus living from what you should be doing. And the pull to be more you tends to, I feel tends to grow the more you keep choosing yourself and your excitement. So that's one way we can practically start doing that today.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Yeah, yeah, it is. And I think that's a great place to start. I love how grounded and practical those advice are because you're not asking them to change their lifestyle overnight. You you are just asking them to take that first step and take it one day at a time. I think that's the most important part. Yeah, Linda. So thank you so much for that, for all the honesty, wisdom, and the meaningful insights you've brought into this conversation. And here's what I'm sitting with after this conversation. You were never lost. You were just living someone else's map. And the moment you decide to put that map down, that's when your real life begins. So, Linda, this has been such a nourishing and honest conversation. Exactly what this show is made for.

Where To Find Linda And Closing

SPEAKER_01 18:44

So, for everyone listening who wants to explore your work, find your book, or work with you, where is the best place to connect with you?

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Oh, that would be uh livefromyourtruth.com. That's the website. You can find the book and um ways to meet with me if you're interested.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Amazing. And we'll make sure to include that in today's show notes so that it's just one click away and our listeners can reach out to you whenever they want to. And thank you, Linda, and thank you to everyone who showed up for this conversation today. Because honestly, just choosing to listen to something like this is already a small act of coming home to yourself. If something landed for you today, a word, a question, a feeling you couldn't quite name before, please don't rush past it, sit with it, write it down. That's where the real work begins. This is healthy mind, healthy life, and if this episode meant something to you, share it with someone who has been quietly searching for permission to be more of who they really are. New conversations are waiting for you wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. The truest version of you has been waiting patience. It can wait a little longer while you find your way back.